I had all these thoughts last evening that would summarise last year in a succinct way. Unfortunately I didn't write any of them down and they disappeared into my brain. Stupid brain.
Last night was low-key, but really nice. As soon as I got home from work I fixed myself a double gimlet and talked to Rachel about our evening's plans. I went to their house after I chugged back the drink in less than a minute, and was well-fed by her mom and handed a gin & tonic almost immediately after arriving. We went to Fifth Ave for a movie, thinking we'd be the only ones there. (Our thinking was that we wanted to be away from the house, but not in line or have to pay just to be in a place we would normally drink for free.) Lucky we gave ourselves so much time because the film sold out, the place completely packed. We downed Milk Duds and Twizzlers, and basked in the warmth of the theatre. We got out slightly before midnight; they went west, I went east. I got to Main around 11:53 and decided to walk the rest of the way home. I didn't miss the cheering, the watching couples kiss, the forced jubilation. I hummed to myself as I walked, nodding to the man outside the 7-11 who hid from the sleet under the shop's overhang. I stopped for the light on 16th and watched fireworks erupt from the roof of a building up the street. I walked down the middle of my street, singing a Rose Melberg song, foot in front of foot down the snow wells. Everything was timed nicely and unfolded in the best way.
Timing is a funny thing. I often get annoyed when I miss a bus by seconds or am left to wait for people for extended lengths. But when everything lines up and the timing is right... I love that. Last year there was a fair bit of good timing as far as work went. Things happened as best they could under the circumstances. This is something to be thankful for.
What has been a reoccurring issue is my poor timing with relationships. This year alone I've had two people talk about wanting to marry me in our later years, once their current relationships end. I dislike these discussions because it's not like this makes me feel particularly special, being second best. I've also been the meantime for a couple of people who were between relationships; it's not flattering to be the one to make someone realise what they actually want in a relationship because it's not me. Perhaps I missed my calling as a relationship counsellor. That's just the way things go.
As a friend pointed out, at the start of 2008 I didn't think anything would happen, so it's been a much more eventful year than I thought it would be. I guess I can just consider them notches or mental notes or something less detrimental than mistakes. I'm learning something from all of them.
I only really regret one incident with one person from last year, mainly because he's a jackass. But I don't see him anymore anyway, and his complete ridiculousness has made for some excellent stories.
My friend keeps saying he's got a good feeling that something big is going to happen for me this year. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited to see what happens.
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