On my way home from work today I watched a dad scoop up his little son with one hand and literally fling him onto his shoulders, landing perfectly. It made me laugh out loud.
The light was perfectly perfect this morning when I left the house. There were no clouds, the sun was bright, and the air was crisp. It was exactly the kind of morning I wanted to have today. When I got off the bus I decided to take a couple of pictures to try to document the morning. Joe Fafard's bull eyed me so I shot it. And my work building sort of glowed a brilliant copper so I tried to get it all in with the last remaining leaves on a tree.
I have a slice of pecan pie to eat, a gift from my friend Christine. I've been thinking of it all day, so may just cook up my halibut and scarf down the pie first. Mmmm... pie.
I swear I'm not bipolar. I just decided when I woke up that I wanted to have a good day today. So I did.
Currently listening :
It's Love
By Softies
Release date: 26 September, 1995
Monday, October 30, 2006
tunage
This morning I danced around my bedroom listening to "Blister in the Sun" on the radio. If they had "China Boys" I would have lost my mind. But that is the joy of downloading, and now I can shake my ass despite the lack of payola putting the Payola$ on the radio right when I want it most. "Roll out red carpets..."
I loaded some new wallpaper on my computer, a print of a crow from pushmepullyou designs. Eleanor is extremely nice (we had a couple of lovely chats at Bumbershoot and passed emails back and forth) and I love her stuff. Seriously, go see her new designs for Keds. Raccoons! Black cats! And, despite my previous declarations that I fear crows, I really like this one. It's just the ones that dive-bomb me hoping to tap into my delicious occular juices that worry me.
The party shuffle lineup right now is freakishly appropriate. "Two Places at Once" by Kleenex Girl Wonder, "I Don't Want to Get Over You" by Magnetic Fields, "I Give Up Too" by Club 8, "Cut" by the Shapiros, and "Santaland Diaries - 02" by David Sedaris. How does it know?
The David Sedaris part is the part when he talks about applying to be an elf at Macy's, featuring one of my favourite lines ever: "I'm certain that I failed my drug test. My urine had roaches and stems floating in it, but still they hired me." Not that this pertains directly to my current state, but in two sleeps I will see David Sedaris LIVE! IN PERSON! If I had a Stadium Buddy I would use it right now. Gosh, I love that little OCD, chain-smoking gay man. It's the highlight of my week.
I think I should bring my bike inside. I don't want the weather to start eroding its sleek design and brilliant colour scheme.
Onward to see what the day brings.
Currently listening :
Ponyoak
By Kleenex Girl Wonder
Release date: 13 July, 1999
I loaded some new wallpaper on my computer, a print of a crow from pushmepullyou designs. Eleanor is extremely nice (we had a couple of lovely chats at Bumbershoot and passed emails back and forth) and I love her stuff. Seriously, go see her new designs for Keds. Raccoons! Black cats! And, despite my previous declarations that I fear crows, I really like this one. It's just the ones that dive-bomb me hoping to tap into my delicious occular juices that worry me.
The party shuffle lineup right now is freakishly appropriate. "Two Places at Once" by Kleenex Girl Wonder, "I Don't Want to Get Over You" by Magnetic Fields, "I Give Up Too" by Club 8, "Cut" by the Shapiros, and "Santaland Diaries - 02" by David Sedaris. How does it know?
The David Sedaris part is the part when he talks about applying to be an elf at Macy's, featuring one of my favourite lines ever: "I'm certain that I failed my drug test. My urine had roaches and stems floating in it, but still they hired me." Not that this pertains directly to my current state, but in two sleeps I will see David Sedaris LIVE! IN PERSON! If I had a Stadium Buddy I would use it right now. Gosh, I love that little OCD, chain-smoking gay man. It's the highlight of my week.
I think I should bring my bike inside. I don't want the weather to start eroding its sleek design and brilliant colour scheme.
Onward to see what the day brings.
Currently listening :
Ponyoak
By Kleenex Girl Wonder
Release date: 13 July, 1999
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
wasting away
Yesterday my October subscription shirt arrived. It's pretty sweet: little zombie animals lying on the ground in a circle (http://www.threadless.com/12club). I swear it's cuter than I'm explaining it. But the size of the shirt seems to be getting smaller from month to month. I know this because, with forgetting to eat more than a meal or two a day (maybe), I've been losing a bit of the fatty parts of me. So, if I'm not getting fatter, which I'm not, then the shirts are getting smaller. But I refuse to go up to the next size. I'll just have to waste away some more. Or stretch them after washing.
Just to curb rumours that I'm purposely starving myself, I've gotten nutrition bars for those times that I'm on campus with no money and 7 hours before I can go home. I'm also drinking soy milk and trying to eat better meals when I am home. Fret not. I also wind up walking all over the place because my building on campus is as far from the bus loop as possible. But, really, I don't even think you would know that I'm not eating. It would be hard to tell.
Last night I went to Tangiene's art show opening and her stuff was all kinds of good. She signed an eraser painting for me and I've got dibs on one of her paintings. She's really amazing. There was a boy there who, for whatever reason, at some point pulled his pants down his hips and showed off his tighty whities. It was hard not to notice. When we left I discussed it with another girl and she was saying how she wanted to throw him against the wall and do bad things to him. Who knew tighty whities were so popular? I prefer briefs on boys myself, but why, then, are boxers so popular?
I'm going to help my frend find shoes this afternoon at Gravity Pope, but last night found out the last friend who worked there quit a couple weeks ago. This means I won't get the 20% off anymore. This makes me sad. Had I known I would have somehow tried to finance a crazed buying spree. As it is, I'll just have to live vicariously through my shoe-buying friend. My shoe collection has become widely talked about among some of the boys I know. Apparently they're keeping tabs on how many pairs I might have. The shoe-buying friend has declared I have about 50 pairs, despite never seeing the collection. I'm going to count them now, just to see. Like, right now.
Currently watching :
My Architect
Release date: 15 August, 2006
Just to curb rumours that I'm purposely starving myself, I've gotten nutrition bars for those times that I'm on campus with no money and 7 hours before I can go home. I'm also drinking soy milk and trying to eat better meals when I am home. Fret not. I also wind up walking all over the place because my building on campus is as far from the bus loop as possible. But, really, I don't even think you would know that I'm not eating. It would be hard to tell.
Last night I went to Tangiene's art show opening and her stuff was all kinds of good. She signed an eraser painting for me and I've got dibs on one of her paintings. She's really amazing. There was a boy there who, for whatever reason, at some point pulled his pants down his hips and showed off his tighty whities. It was hard not to notice. When we left I discussed it with another girl and she was saying how she wanted to throw him against the wall and do bad things to him. Who knew tighty whities were so popular? I prefer briefs on boys myself, but why, then, are boxers so popular?
I'm going to help my frend find shoes this afternoon at Gravity Pope, but last night found out the last friend who worked there quit a couple weeks ago. This means I won't get the 20% off anymore. This makes me sad. Had I known I would have somehow tried to finance a crazed buying spree. As it is, I'll just have to live vicariously through my shoe-buying friend. My shoe collection has become widely talked about among some of the boys I know. Apparently they're keeping tabs on how many pairs I might have. The shoe-buying friend has declared I have about 50 pairs, despite never seeing the collection. I'm going to count them now, just to see. Like, right now.
Currently watching :
My Architect
Release date: 15 August, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
the downward spiral
I need to get my head in the game.
I feel a little uncomfortable about exposing myself like this today, but I'm big on documenting the good and the bad of everyday life, so this has to be an aspect of that. I'm sure you'll think less of me; I think less of myself after these last few weeks, so I completely understand. If push comes to shove I can blame it on school, lack of restful sleep, overworking, or that my birthday is a week away and am feeling the weight of the world because of how little I've gotten accomplished by this age. Yet, really, blame is unhelpful and I should really just worry about fixing things that I've been breaking/burning.
Yesterday was one of the worst days in recent memory, as far as friends are concerned. I've hit a new low of insensitivity. I went to work, worked my extra hours, decided I should finish an essay that's due tonight (which I managed to get finished), and got invited to a co-worker's house for dinner. It sounded fun. The problem was I didn't go home, thereby missing the message my friend left for me reminding me about the show we were supposed to go to last night. I remembered around 10pm when I saw a poster on the street for it. But I am so embarrassed that I flaked out like this. It isn't a good reason to miss my friend.
And, really, Friday night was similarly bad in the friend department. I drank too much beer, went to the secret club with three friends and wound up getting pissy and sulky at the club because I didn't think they liked it and took it personally and wound up crying on the phone after one of them informed me how terrible I was to them. The one friend had to talk me down at the bus stop because I was upset about the whole thing. I'm bad with apologising and I had to do a lot of it yesterday. And will have to do more today. I'm sure this is building better character since I feel as though I have none today.
Last night when I got home I called one of the friends I had been out with to say I got home OK and he was on the other line so he said he had to go. I sort of hung up on him (we said our goodbyes and he said something as I was hanging up) and called someone unimportant to come over. When my friend called back a few minutes later and discovered someone was meant to come over he scolded me. And, really, why shouldn't he? It made no sense to waste more time on nothing when I was already so tired, tipsy on red wine (I remember why I don't drink red wine: it makes me call people at 10:30 at night to invite them over for no reason) and uninterested in the person. I wound up talking to my friend for a while and then falling asleep, completely missing the visitor anyway, which I discovered when he called after arriving back home from the trip to mine. Falling asleep was likely the only smart thing I did the whole of yesterday, as it got me out of a potentially sticky situation.
I am making unwise decisions and this doesn't feel like me at all. On the upside, only two more years minus 7 weeks of this. How quickly things can fall apart when you take your eye off the prize.
New almost-year-end resolutions:
1) drink less
2) be nicer to friends
3) stop being a jackass
4) make smarter decisions
Club 8 is making me feel a bit better. In another unwise move, I would totally marry Johan Angergard this minute if I could. Maybe he could write a catchy song about how I'm fucking things up. I think he secretly has a thing for me because he's written two Karen songs for Club 8 and it's possible he has more elsewhere since he's in about 400 other bands. His Swedish pop sensibility would put me back on track, or at least being able to run my fingers through his pretty blond hair would be a fun distraction. Swoon. Seriously, listen to "I'm Lost Without You" and say something bad about him. Unpossible.
Currently listening :
Spring Came, Rain Fell
By Club 8
Release date: 12 March, 2002
I feel a little uncomfortable about exposing myself like this today, but I'm big on documenting the good and the bad of everyday life, so this has to be an aspect of that. I'm sure you'll think less of me; I think less of myself after these last few weeks, so I completely understand. If push comes to shove I can blame it on school, lack of restful sleep, overworking, or that my birthday is a week away and am feeling the weight of the world because of how little I've gotten accomplished by this age. Yet, really, blame is unhelpful and I should really just worry about fixing things that I've been breaking/burning.
Yesterday was one of the worst days in recent memory, as far as friends are concerned. I've hit a new low of insensitivity. I went to work, worked my extra hours, decided I should finish an essay that's due tonight (which I managed to get finished), and got invited to a co-worker's house for dinner. It sounded fun. The problem was I didn't go home, thereby missing the message my friend left for me reminding me about the show we were supposed to go to last night. I remembered around 10pm when I saw a poster on the street for it. But I am so embarrassed that I flaked out like this. It isn't a good reason to miss my friend.
And, really, Friday night was similarly bad in the friend department. I drank too much beer, went to the secret club with three friends and wound up getting pissy and sulky at the club because I didn't think they liked it and took it personally and wound up crying on the phone after one of them informed me how terrible I was to them. The one friend had to talk me down at the bus stop because I was upset about the whole thing. I'm bad with apologising and I had to do a lot of it yesterday. And will have to do more today. I'm sure this is building better character since I feel as though I have none today.
Last night when I got home I called one of the friends I had been out with to say I got home OK and he was on the other line so he said he had to go. I sort of hung up on him (we said our goodbyes and he said something as I was hanging up) and called someone unimportant to come over. When my friend called back a few minutes later and discovered someone was meant to come over he scolded me. And, really, why shouldn't he? It made no sense to waste more time on nothing when I was already so tired, tipsy on red wine (I remember why I don't drink red wine: it makes me call people at 10:30 at night to invite them over for no reason) and uninterested in the person. I wound up talking to my friend for a while and then falling asleep, completely missing the visitor anyway, which I discovered when he called after arriving back home from the trip to mine. Falling asleep was likely the only smart thing I did the whole of yesterday, as it got me out of a potentially sticky situation.
I am making unwise decisions and this doesn't feel like me at all. On the upside, only two more years minus 7 weeks of this. How quickly things can fall apart when you take your eye off the prize.
New almost-year-end resolutions:
1) drink less
2) be nicer to friends
3) stop being a jackass
4) make smarter decisions
Club 8 is making me feel a bit better. In another unwise move, I would totally marry Johan Angergard this minute if I could. Maybe he could write a catchy song about how I'm fucking things up. I think he secretly has a thing for me because he's written two Karen songs for Club 8 and it's possible he has more elsewhere since he's in about 400 other bands. His Swedish pop sensibility would put me back on track, or at least being able to run my fingers through his pretty blond hair would be a fun distraction. Swoon. Seriously, listen to "I'm Lost Without You" and say something bad about him. Unpossible.
Currently listening :
Spring Came, Rain Fell
By Club 8
Release date: 12 March, 2002
Thursday, October 19, 2006
so dumb
Just home from a mind-numbingly long day at school. I stopped off at the beach to listen to waves crashing on the shore to try to regroup and refocus. It was nice watching the spray. Even though I fear it, I love water. (The fear comes more from what is lurking under the surface or from being in a boat and being sucked into the water somehow.) I think I may have to spend more time on beaches, listening to the surf to try to stop from going crazy.
I am so close to being a complete idiot. Seriously. I signed up for another 10 hours of work a week until I'm done this semester, bringing my work hours up to 33 per week. Granted, I can cut back if I need to, but why would I add extra shifts when I'm already not getting everything done? It's the money. Four of those hours are at a new, higher-paying position; the rest are just adding on to shifts I'm already working. I hate paying bills from my credit line. I hate owing money on my credit line. I like complaining about all of this.
Tonight I was at work finishing off some homework that isn't due until next Tuesday. This is good, right? For two weeks I have very little due, but then things come due every week until the end of term, another 6 weeks. I'm starting to feel weird that I'm at work almost every day. But I still haven't gotten the internet connection to work on my laptop, for whatever reason, largely because I don't have the time to sit down with it and talk it into working. This will make at least one of you somewhat annoyed, possibly angry, I know. I am concerned that the version of Office Pro I got isn't going to work and I'll be out a whack of cash because of my ignorance/dumbness.
On the upside, I will drink some beer tomorrow and may try to convince co-workers to go to the secret club afterwards.
Currently listening :
Crime in Acetate: 1995-1997
By Push Kings
Release date: 25 April, 2000
I am so close to being a complete idiot. Seriously. I signed up for another 10 hours of work a week until I'm done this semester, bringing my work hours up to 33 per week. Granted, I can cut back if I need to, but why would I add extra shifts when I'm already not getting everything done? It's the money. Four of those hours are at a new, higher-paying position; the rest are just adding on to shifts I'm already working. I hate paying bills from my credit line. I hate owing money on my credit line. I like complaining about all of this.
Tonight I was at work finishing off some homework that isn't due until next Tuesday. This is good, right? For two weeks I have very little due, but then things come due every week until the end of term, another 6 weeks. I'm starting to feel weird that I'm at work almost every day. But I still haven't gotten the internet connection to work on my laptop, for whatever reason, largely because I don't have the time to sit down with it and talk it into working. This will make at least one of you somewhat annoyed, possibly angry, I know. I am concerned that the version of Office Pro I got isn't going to work and I'll be out a whack of cash because of my ignorance/dumbness.
On the upside, I will drink some beer tomorrow and may try to convince co-workers to go to the secret club afterwards.
Currently listening :
Crime in Acetate: 1995-1997
By Push Kings
Release date: 25 April, 2000
Monday, October 16, 2006
workplace antics
At work, one of the ladies was deciding on a password for a work contest and asked me to help her. She wondered if she should use a secret name as her username and quietly said, "Like She-Ra. That would be a good username." Then said she should maybe use "Princess of Power" as her full name. And I howled. And she howled. And tears were streaming down both of our faces as we kept repeating it: She-Ra, Princess of Power. She wondered how many people would call for her at work, asking for Princess of Power. All our co-workers were watching us cry from laughter until I told them what we were discussing. They didn't laugh as hard as we did, but we're used to laughing more than others.
Today I wore my bright blue raincoat to work to try to perk myself up. As soon as I got on the bus I realised I was the brightest person there (visually, anyway), a little beacon of colour on an otherwise dreary paletted bus of riders. Why don't all raincoats come in delicious colours? I wish I still had my rain boots; they were minty green and also made me feel happier when it was raining, but they cracked and let water in so I had to get rid of them. Sigh.
Currently reading :
Miss Misery: A Novel
By Andy Greenwald
Release date: 27 December, 2005
Today I wore my bright blue raincoat to work to try to perk myself up. As soon as I got on the bus I realised I was the brightest person there (visually, anyway), a little beacon of colour on an otherwise dreary paletted bus of riders. Why don't all raincoats come in delicious colours? I wish I still had my rain boots; they were minty green and also made me feel happier when it was raining, but they cracked and let water in so I had to get rid of them. Sigh.
Currently reading :
Miss Misery: A Novel
By Andy Greenwald
Release date: 27 December, 2005
Sunday, October 15, 2006
low/down
Today was a low day.
I didn't sleep well last night. This morning I still couldn't sleep and watched the minutes edging closer to the time my alarm was set to go off. I felt very alone. The rain was falling. My tea wasn't very tasty, even with honey. My milk went bad 4 days early. I think the fridge is failing me because the milk turned and the mayo froze and sometimes water drips from the top of the fridge. Work was dull and long, despite really liking my co-workers. I feel out of sorts.
The first day of rain and this is what happens to me. This does not bode well for the remaining winter months.
Why, I wonder, does rain make me feel alone?
Lately I've been worrying about how much I've been neglecting my friends. I can't focus on anything or anyone for very long because I'm always worrying about school or work or how I'm going to pay for my life. I just talked to one friend for the first time in weeks and wasn't able to concentrate on what he was saying. It's the same with pretty much everyone. I can't understand how they can be so understanding just because I've overplanned my life.
I've decided that I'm not going to celebrate my birthday because it's pretty selfish to expect people to make that effort for me when I'm not making the effort for them. And, really, what's so great about birthdays anyway? They just remind me why I hate the rain.
Currently listening :
The Bends
By Radiohead
Release date: 04 April, 1995
I didn't sleep well last night. This morning I still couldn't sleep and watched the minutes edging closer to the time my alarm was set to go off. I felt very alone. The rain was falling. My tea wasn't very tasty, even with honey. My milk went bad 4 days early. I think the fridge is failing me because the milk turned and the mayo froze and sometimes water drips from the top of the fridge. Work was dull and long, despite really liking my co-workers. I feel out of sorts.
The first day of rain and this is what happens to me. This does not bode well for the remaining winter months.
Why, I wonder, does rain make me feel alone?
Lately I've been worrying about how much I've been neglecting my friends. I can't focus on anything or anyone for very long because I'm always worrying about school or work or how I'm going to pay for my life. I just talked to one friend for the first time in weeks and wasn't able to concentrate on what he was saying. It's the same with pretty much everyone. I can't understand how they can be so understanding just because I've overplanned my life.
I've decided that I'm not going to celebrate my birthday because it's pretty selfish to expect people to make that effort for me when I'm not making the effort for them. And, really, what's so great about birthdays anyway? They just remind me why I hate the rain.
Currently listening :
The Bends
By Radiohead
Release date: 04 April, 1995
Saturday, October 14, 2006
nothing, really
This week at work I started training in Acquisitions at a higher level (LA III vs. my regular LA I/II work) and realised that I should probably work in Technical Services when I finish my degree. I love process and it's one of the only areas that is so completely process-based. Mmm, process... I also realised that I could probably work for a few more years in the library without needing the degree, but might as well get it anyway so I can get interesting jobs when I need to.
I'm glad I work in the areas I do because lots of neat stuff happens there and I wind up knowing stuff that we learn about in class from work. This makes it easier to get the discussion marks without doing the readings, which I stopped doing a few weeks ago. (Shhhh... it's a secret.)
The weather is turning. This makes me sad. But the sky this morning was amazing because of the clouds: all glowy pink and purple, mottled and soft. I should probably stop walking with my face up to the sky because that's when all the tripping happens. Not that I mind tripping; it's actually funny when I do, even when I go down. The light was perfectly perfect at 7:30am.
Last night I did very little. Talked to my friend for a bit (who tried to convince me to skip out of work early to hang out), left messages with others, thought about going to the mall but didn't and tried to watch some of the various DVDs stacked up on my table. I think I was down to two, but then got another three from the library. Sigh. Also avoided the assignment I have to do for Tuesday. Will get to it eventually; just not today.
Someone brought buns from New Town Bakery today and made a special point of letting me know because she knows I love the coconut buns from there. Very sweet.
Currently reading :
Miss Misery: A Novel
By Andy Greenwald
Release date: 27 December, 2005
I'm glad I work in the areas I do because lots of neat stuff happens there and I wind up knowing stuff that we learn about in class from work. This makes it easier to get the discussion marks without doing the readings, which I stopped doing a few weeks ago. (Shhhh... it's a secret.)
The weather is turning. This makes me sad. But the sky this morning was amazing because of the clouds: all glowy pink and purple, mottled and soft. I should probably stop walking with my face up to the sky because that's when all the tripping happens. Not that I mind tripping; it's actually funny when I do, even when I go down. The light was perfectly perfect at 7:30am.
Last night I did very little. Talked to my friend for a bit (who tried to convince me to skip out of work early to hang out), left messages with others, thought about going to the mall but didn't and tried to watch some of the various DVDs stacked up on my table. I think I was down to two, but then got another three from the library. Sigh. Also avoided the assignment I have to do for Tuesday. Will get to it eventually; just not today.
Someone brought buns from New Town Bakery today and made a special point of letting me know because she knows I love the coconut buns from there. Very sweet.
Currently reading :
Miss Misery: A Novel
By Andy Greenwald
Release date: 27 December, 2005
Monday, October 9, 2006
OCD humour
Yesterday I went to my sister's house so we could go together to her in-laws' house for turkey dinner. On our way there, she was telling me about a radio show she heard when she was in the Okanagan visiting our parents. Apparently the show was a humour show of some sort (in the Okanagan? unpossible; nothing is funny about the Okanagan).
As she recounts it:
The guy said, "How many hours in a day do you waste while counting from 1 to 100? If you're like me, a lot. To cut down on the wasted hours, why not cut out some of the less important numbers, like 17? You can't get anything in 17, so you don't need it. So, as practice: what's 16 + 1?.... That's right, it's 18. And what's 16 + 2?.... Right again, it's 18. See how easy it is to eliminate the number 17 from your life?" The part that kills me is the first part: If you're anything like me...
And I was howling. Like, tears-streaming-down-my-face howling. And I couldn't stop laughing, which made Anita laugh even more. Maybe you had to be there. I kept imagining the guy's voice to be like Dr. Nick Riviera. My sister has her moments of hilariousity (fine, it's not a word).
How many hours do you waste while counting from 1 to 100?
Currently listening :
Pink Flag
By Wire
Release date: 11 April, 2006
As she recounts it:
The guy said, "How many hours in a day do you waste while counting from 1 to 100? If you're like me, a lot. To cut down on the wasted hours, why not cut out some of the less important numbers, like 17? You can't get anything in 17, so you don't need it. So, as practice: what's 16 + 1?.... That's right, it's 18. And what's 16 + 2?.... Right again, it's 18. See how easy it is to eliminate the number 17 from your life?" The part that kills me is the first part: If you're anything like me...
And I was howling. Like, tears-streaming-down-my-face howling. And I couldn't stop laughing, which made Anita laugh even more. Maybe you had to be there. I kept imagining the guy's voice to be like Dr. Nick Riviera. My sister has her moments of hilariousity (fine, it's not a word).
How many hours do you waste while counting from 1 to 100?
Currently listening :
Pink Flag
By Wire
Release date: 11 April, 2006
Thursday, October 5, 2006
table for one
OK, I feel so incredibly lame.
Today I got take-out from a restaurant up the street from my house. Didn't feel like sitting alone watching others eat and talk. But take-out also seemed pretty pathetic, like I was throwing a spotlight on myself. Hey, look! I'm taking food to my house to eat alone while watching the Simpsons!
Just got a call from my bank offering me additional life insurance so my beneficiaries can benefit from my death. Midway through the speil I said I would have to decline the offer because I have no beneficiaries. The guy continued on, adding that it would apply to anyone I chose. So I said I have enough money saved to pay for my funeral and there was no reason to get additional insurance because I was alone. He seemed unable to recover from that.
But it makes me feel sad that I have to declare my complete aloneness to get people to stop trying to sell me stuff that will benefit these fictitious "special people" in my life.
I am seriously considering joining a convent. Like, seriously. I'm pretty sure telemarketers can't call you there.
Currently listening :
Where's Wolfie
By Wolfie
Release date: 06 April, 1999
8:36
Today I got take-out from a restaurant up the street from my house. Didn't feel like sitting alone watching others eat and talk. But take-out also seemed pretty pathetic, like I was throwing a spotlight on myself. Hey, look! I'm taking food to my house to eat alone while watching the Simpsons!
Just got a call from my bank offering me additional life insurance so my beneficiaries can benefit from my death. Midway through the speil I said I would have to decline the offer because I have no beneficiaries. The guy continued on, adding that it would apply to anyone I chose. So I said I have enough money saved to pay for my funeral and there was no reason to get additional insurance because I was alone. He seemed unable to recover from that.
But it makes me feel sad that I have to declare my complete aloneness to get people to stop trying to sell me stuff that will benefit these fictitious "special people" in my life.
I am seriously considering joining a convent. Like, seriously. I'm pretty sure telemarketers can't call you there.
Currently listening :
Where's Wolfie
By Wolfie
Release date: 06 April, 1999
8:36
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
not enough time
I am so behind on homework that I can only talk for a minute. Today I have to put together a PowerPoint presentation completely from scratch ("It's all up here [tap on head]", my ass) because it's due on Friday and tomorrow I need to load it at school after my afternoon class (or before if I can haul said ass to campus early), but have never really used PowerPoint, so, once again, as usual, I am close to being fucked.
But I'm not stressed out yet because I'm watching a movie tonight and that is a nice diversion.
The wedding:
It all went OK. I caught a ride with my favourite bridesmaid and her boyfriend, and spent a good deal of the weekend around them. It wound up being pretty frantic with no time to sit and absorb, which is just as well because it wasn't my wedding to absorb.
Thursday: got into town. Waited for other bridesmaids to show up because we were sharing a room. Decided to go across the street to the mall to kill some time. Walked to bride's house, since we were supposed to go over for dinner anyway. Aparently I disappeared for two hours, causing frantic calls between all parties. Everyone else came and the circus began. We finished the night by putting together boxes, filled them with chocolate and tied ribbons around them as the guest gifts. Yummy chocolate!
Friday: bipolar fake bridesmaid couldn't sleep, so at 5am yelled at the rest of us to wake up because he didn't want to be awake alone. I swore at him and tried to go back to sleep, but the damage was done. Spent the rest of the day in a zombie state. Had a crappy manicure (the nail person was really shaky, so the nails weren't looking so great) and waited for the 4 others to get finished up. Then went to lunch. Then went to rehearsal. Tried to have a little nap, but was cursed out by the bipolar fake bridesmaid and his husband decided to curl my hair instead of letting me sleep for an hour. Then went to dinner where we got our bridesmaid gifts. The girls headed to the bride's apartment to give her the stuff we had worked on (a scrapbook and a basket of fun stuff), which made her teary eyed. Went back to the hotel to bed. Woohoo.
Saturday: up at the crack of dawn to get enormous rollers put in. Went to decorate the reception hall. Back to the bride's house for hair and make-up (groan. I am terrible at being a girl). Small problem: the bride's new pink saphire necklace broke, dropping the jewel into the (clean) toilet bowl. Maid-of-honour fished it out; that alone proved she was the best girl to fill that position, despite another bridesmaid who thought she should hold that position. Scrambled up to the last minute, but got to the ceremony on time; had to wait for straglers, so started a little late. Short ceremony (sweet). Saw my grade 4 teacher and my high school drama teacher. Waited around for pictures that never happened. For whatever reason, the bridesmaids were the last to be photographed, but because the photographer took so long with the others, the light was too low to continue. So there are about 5 or 6 pictures with the bridesmaids. Hmph. Raced to the reception. Started drinking rye and gingerale immediately (thank you, open bar). Ate delicious stuff. Clapped a lot. Cheered. Flirted with bride's brother because he was giving me a ride back to Vancouver. Danced my ass off, impressing more people than I intended to. Finally headed back to bride's apartment to sleep (bride and groom got a room, at the urging of others who yelled it during glass-tinking make-outs). Before letting my head hit the pillow, I pulled out the bobby pins that kept my hair in place: 22 bobby pins out and my hair didn't move. So much hairspray. Gross.
Sunday: woke up feeling OK. Maid-of-honour (who also stayed at bride's house) wasn't looking so good and decided to go home. Went to hotel to take down decorations, but it was already done because another event was in the room when we arrived. Counted the chair covers and folded them with the awesome bridesmaid and my friend who wasn't even obligated to help. Bitchy bipolar fake bridesmaid came late and tried to instruct me what to do after saying he didn't need to do anything because his job was done the day before. I snapped at him and continued to silently curse him. Drove to Osoyoos with the awesome bridesmaid, her boyfriend and the other bridesmaid who thought it was her wedding instead of the bride and grooms. Got to Osoyoos just after 1pm for the gift opening. Saw my parents and ran into my cousins near bride's parents' house. Eventually convinced bride's brother to head back to Vancouver. Drove. Got home.
But the assignments are piling up. Got a one day extension on an assignment due last Sunday night and finished up a research assignment yesterday morning. Now I just have to finish this PowerPoint presentation and all my assignments for this week are done. And will then have to start the other ones that are due next week and the week after. Crap.
I swear I'm going to be more interesting at some point. Just not right now.
Currently listening :
The Great Pacific Ocean
By Thrush Hermit
Release date: 04 April, 2000
6:41
But I'm not stressed out yet because I'm watching a movie tonight and that is a nice diversion.
The wedding:
It all went OK. I caught a ride with my favourite bridesmaid and her boyfriend, and spent a good deal of the weekend around them. It wound up being pretty frantic with no time to sit and absorb, which is just as well because it wasn't my wedding to absorb.
Thursday: got into town. Waited for other bridesmaids to show up because we were sharing a room. Decided to go across the street to the mall to kill some time. Walked to bride's house, since we were supposed to go over for dinner anyway. Aparently I disappeared for two hours, causing frantic calls between all parties. Everyone else came and the circus began. We finished the night by putting together boxes, filled them with chocolate and tied ribbons around them as the guest gifts. Yummy chocolate!
Friday: bipolar fake bridesmaid couldn't sleep, so at 5am yelled at the rest of us to wake up because he didn't want to be awake alone. I swore at him and tried to go back to sleep, but the damage was done. Spent the rest of the day in a zombie state. Had a crappy manicure (the nail person was really shaky, so the nails weren't looking so great) and waited for the 4 others to get finished up. Then went to lunch. Then went to rehearsal. Tried to have a little nap, but was cursed out by the bipolar fake bridesmaid and his husband decided to curl my hair instead of letting me sleep for an hour. Then went to dinner where we got our bridesmaid gifts. The girls headed to the bride's apartment to give her the stuff we had worked on (a scrapbook and a basket of fun stuff), which made her teary eyed. Went back to the hotel to bed. Woohoo.
Saturday: up at the crack of dawn to get enormous rollers put in. Went to decorate the reception hall. Back to the bride's house for hair and make-up (groan. I am terrible at being a girl). Small problem: the bride's new pink saphire necklace broke, dropping the jewel into the (clean) toilet bowl. Maid-of-honour fished it out; that alone proved she was the best girl to fill that position, despite another bridesmaid who thought she should hold that position. Scrambled up to the last minute, but got to the ceremony on time; had to wait for straglers, so started a little late. Short ceremony (sweet). Saw my grade 4 teacher and my high school drama teacher. Waited around for pictures that never happened. For whatever reason, the bridesmaids were the last to be photographed, but because the photographer took so long with the others, the light was too low to continue. So there are about 5 or 6 pictures with the bridesmaids. Hmph. Raced to the reception. Started drinking rye and gingerale immediately (thank you, open bar). Ate delicious stuff. Clapped a lot. Cheered. Flirted with bride's brother because he was giving me a ride back to Vancouver. Danced my ass off, impressing more people than I intended to. Finally headed back to bride's apartment to sleep (bride and groom got a room, at the urging of others who yelled it during glass-tinking make-outs). Before letting my head hit the pillow, I pulled out the bobby pins that kept my hair in place: 22 bobby pins out and my hair didn't move. So much hairspray. Gross.
Sunday: woke up feeling OK. Maid-of-honour (who also stayed at bride's house) wasn't looking so good and decided to go home. Went to hotel to take down decorations, but it was already done because another event was in the room when we arrived. Counted the chair covers and folded them with the awesome bridesmaid and my friend who wasn't even obligated to help. Bitchy bipolar fake bridesmaid came late and tried to instruct me what to do after saying he didn't need to do anything because his job was done the day before. I snapped at him and continued to silently curse him. Drove to Osoyoos with the awesome bridesmaid, her boyfriend and the other bridesmaid who thought it was her wedding instead of the bride and grooms. Got to Osoyoos just after 1pm for the gift opening. Saw my parents and ran into my cousins near bride's parents' house. Eventually convinced bride's brother to head back to Vancouver. Drove. Got home.
But the assignments are piling up. Got a one day extension on an assignment due last Sunday night and finished up a research assignment yesterday morning. Now I just have to finish this PowerPoint presentation and all my assignments for this week are done. And will then have to start the other ones that are due next week and the week after. Crap.
I swear I'm going to be more interesting at some point. Just not right now.
Currently listening :
The Great Pacific Ocean
By Thrush Hermit
Release date: 04 April, 2000
6:41
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