Whenever I get phone calls from my mom in the middle of the week I immediately brace myself. Midweek calls are never calls just to chat.
She called just after I got home from work. My uncle, one of the uncles I grew up seeing weekly, died last night. He'd been in failing health for years, had become increasingly hard to be around because he became quite mean and sullen the last few years, and I hadn't been able to see him the last few times I visited because of his health.
I wasn't surprised when Mom said he had passed. It was expected at some point. But I also didn't anticipate not being upset at all. I mean, I feel badly that he's gone and it makes me sad to know I won't see him again, but I can't be upset. I won't be going to the funeral. It's next Wednesday, the hardest day for me to get out of work. I'm not even sure I want to go.
For me, this is somewhat strange, as I'm generally a big crybaby about everything. I guess I'm just getting used to loss. Or perhaps, like when my godfather/uncle died, this will hit me hard years from now. I just don't feel like crying is the thing to do right now. Had it been his wife, my dad's last living sibling, it would be a different story. I would be an absolute mess. So perhaps it's the blood relative part that changes things a bit. I don't know...
As I grow older, this will be the norm. The loss of those I was once close to.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
party killer
Last week I had a lengthy text message exchange with my friend. We agreed to instant message at a certain time after both of us finished with our nights out. He texted that some of the guys he'd been out with were at his house and he'd try to get rid of them as fast as he could, but they seemed deadset on staying until his house was free of booze. I figured, since they were already drunk, it wouldn't be long.
Three hours later, at roughly 5am, the last text from my friend came in. He'd given regular updates of what he had tried to kill the party. Because of the nature of our friendship, it always comes down to music. No better way to kill a party than playing crappy music. And, as any rational person would assume, if you play shitty music then no one will want to stick around. Not so in this circumstance.
I think the problem was that he started off with things that they might actually like while they were drinking all his beer. When he started playing what he perceived as crap, they were already in a good mood, ready to party longer. When he informed me that he'd played Flock of Seagulls and they'd all fallen asleep at his kitchen table, I knew what a complete failure he is at killing a party. I mean, he's a fricking DJ; those guys don't have any idea how to kill a party, only how to get the party jumping.
So that got me to thinking... What would I play to kill a party?
I know a few things that have made people lose interest in conversation and start staring off into space. First: Miles Davis. It is remarkable how people lose focus and realise the time and make a quick path to the door when you put on a 37 minute opus from his drug-induced time. Italian pop music from the '60s does the same. You toss on some Gigliola Cinquetti and people clamber for the door handle. I find men will be repulsed by Debbie (not Deborah) Gibson and teenaged Alanis. Oddly, Animotion does the same, though for me I would totally stay at a party that had "Obsession" playing... That song is dope.
If all else fails, I have a lethal stash of J-pop that is unbearable to listen to. You know how Japanese girls speak in cutesy high-pitched voices to sound cute? Imagine that put to music.
Three hours later, at roughly 5am, the last text from my friend came in. He'd given regular updates of what he had tried to kill the party. Because of the nature of our friendship, it always comes down to music. No better way to kill a party than playing crappy music. And, as any rational person would assume, if you play shitty music then no one will want to stick around. Not so in this circumstance.
I think the problem was that he started off with things that they might actually like while they were drinking all his beer. When he started playing what he perceived as crap, they were already in a good mood, ready to party longer. When he informed me that he'd played Flock of Seagulls and they'd all fallen asleep at his kitchen table, I knew what a complete failure he is at killing a party. I mean, he's a fricking DJ; those guys don't have any idea how to kill a party, only how to get the party jumping.
So that got me to thinking... What would I play to kill a party?
I know a few things that have made people lose interest in conversation and start staring off into space. First: Miles Davis. It is remarkable how people lose focus and realise the time and make a quick path to the door when you put on a 37 minute opus from his drug-induced time. Italian pop music from the '60s does the same. You toss on some Gigliola Cinquetti and people clamber for the door handle. I find men will be repulsed by Debbie (not Deborah) Gibson and teenaged Alanis. Oddly, Animotion does the same, though for me I would totally stay at a party that had "Obsession" playing... That song is dope.
If all else fails, I have a lethal stash of J-pop that is unbearable to listen to. You know how Japanese girls speak in cutesy high-pitched voices to sound cute? Imagine that put to music.
Monday, March 15, 2010
hack job
The Tylenol 3 is kicking in. I tried to tough it out this time, but there's no reason to be a hero here. I'm the only one who suffers.
This morning I finally got the gum surgery that was delayed in January. Remembering the same surgery two years ago, I was pretty nervous and on edge about it. That surgery was somewhat debilitating for a week and inconvenient for weeks after that. I didn't drink at all for almost a month and the plaster in my mouth made talking and eating more difficult than it really needed to. The resulting lisp annoyed me, but I got some make out sessions because of it. That was, literally, the only plus.
The surgery today was for a study group my dentist is in, which means I didn't have to shell out $900 for this surgery (just $150). He showed his colleagues how to do gum grafting because he's kind of an expert. It was about half the surgery of the last time, so the bottom front and the roof of my mouth are only half as bad. It also isn't as painful, for whatever reason, but am enjoying the pain killers anyway. Might as well kill whatever pain I can.
I mean, he cut a piece of skin off the roof of my mouth, sliced my lower gums, and tacked the skin to cover up the hole. It's kind of crazy that this is good for me, long term, because it sounds fucked up. I'm feeling a little like Frankenstein's monster, only it's in a secret place that no one will know about. But I'll know...
Hopefully this admission won't lead you to come after me with torches and pitchforks.
The downside of this surgery is that I can't make out with anyone for a few weeks and other activities are out for a while (activities I won't talk about here). Not that this will be a huge challenge, but I don't like not being able to make out when make out sessions come around. You've always gotta be ready to lock lips when the opportunity arises.
This morning I finally got the gum surgery that was delayed in January. Remembering the same surgery two years ago, I was pretty nervous and on edge about it. That surgery was somewhat debilitating for a week and inconvenient for weeks after that. I didn't drink at all for almost a month and the plaster in my mouth made talking and eating more difficult than it really needed to. The resulting lisp annoyed me, but I got some make out sessions because of it. That was, literally, the only plus.
The surgery today was for a study group my dentist is in, which means I didn't have to shell out $900 for this surgery (just $150). He showed his colleagues how to do gum grafting because he's kind of an expert. It was about half the surgery of the last time, so the bottom front and the roof of my mouth are only half as bad. It also isn't as painful, for whatever reason, but am enjoying the pain killers anyway. Might as well kill whatever pain I can.
I mean, he cut a piece of skin off the roof of my mouth, sliced my lower gums, and tacked the skin to cover up the hole. It's kind of crazy that this is good for me, long term, because it sounds fucked up. I'm feeling a little like Frankenstein's monster, only it's in a secret place that no one will know about. But I'll know...
Hopefully this admission won't lead you to come after me with torches and pitchforks.
The downside of this surgery is that I can't make out with anyone for a few weeks and other activities are out for a while (activities I won't talk about here). Not that this will be a huge challenge, but I don't like not being able to make out when make out sessions come around. You've always gotta be ready to lock lips when the opportunity arises.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
is this music?
Riding the train home from work (sent home early because of a lingering, horrible-sounding cold), I made a startling realisation: the males I find most interesting are music-centric. I know. This is shocking.When I hear certain songs, I'm immediately thrown back into the male-related situations of the time. EMF, Pop Will Eat Itself, Stone Roses... highschool boyfriend. The Cure, Blur, Curve, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Smiths, The Breeders... these remind me of the guy who was an asshole the year we were together. King Apparatus, another. Twee entirely covered by one person. Any twee song I hear I think of him, as well as the Pixies, Atari Teenage Riot, Le Mans, and DC punk. If a guy friend doesn't like music it's harder to have conversations for long because I've got nothing much else to talk about. It's my fallback.
Case in point: the last guy I dated didn't seem particularly into any music I would ever listen to (new country... seriously) and I grew to resent him because we had nothing to talk about (and he was a bit of an asshat). Now, however, well after things ended, he wants to go to shows with me. I find this hilarious. And I'm dubious.
(You get cred with me if you know who sang the title song.)
Monday, March 8, 2010
viva las vegas
That little trip I booked to Vegas? Ya, that happened. It was pretty good.
Honestly, had I not met up with my friend, I'm not sure what I would have done. So much of the weekend was great because I got to hang out with him and meet some of the people from the Chicago scene. Those scooterists really take drinking to a recreational sport level.
I landed and headed to the hotel to meet my friend in the lobby. He wasn't there. I went upstairs to drop off my stuff and check if my cell worked in the States (it didn't. Those fuckers at Fido, who assured me it would work, are in my bad book now), and headed back downstairs. He wasn't there. I walked up and down Fremont, taking pictures of neon signs and avoiding every NASCAR fan in Vegas who were enthralled with Foghat for an hour. At that point I realised I'd be alone all weekend if I didn't do something, so called long distance from my room phone to his cell, only to find he was in the lobby trying to get my room from the front desk. Sigh. He came up and we went to meet the others before heading to the bar for the night's party.
The Beauty Bar was made more famous by a Sex and the City episode and the Vegas location has been around for 6 years or so. They shut down the alleyway, put up an outdoor stage, and had a great soulie band from LA called Police and Thieves. I was excited when the ladies came on with sequined dresses. The crowd was a bit lame, though, and didn't really move much at all, so we went back inside to the dancefloor in front of the DJ. Not a lot of action inside either (boring DJ), so we just drank a lot and I chatted with some of the others. Jason had seen someone with a guitar full of boozy slush, the sort that lets you suck it through the electrical cord straw and wear it with a guitar strap, and decided around 1:30am that he HAD to have one. So he and I headed out to see what we could find, only we never found it. It was good to hang out with him, though, and get a little one-on-one time. By the time we got back to the bar, most everyone we knew was gone, so we sat outside and listened to music and chatted. At some point we headed back to the hotel and said goodnight. I realised I would need morning reinforcements, so I headed out to the Walgreens, only to run into Jason and a couple of the other guys who were out gambling. I think it was about 5am by the time I dropped into bed.
For some annoying reason, I was up at 7:30am, but puttered around my room until 11am. After a quick call to the other room, I headed to the rally behind the other hotel. I saw a couple of the Chicago crew, but was hoping to meet up with Jason first because, you know, I'm kind of shy. He took his time (I found out he had been sleeping when I called, the lucky bastard) and I eventually made a move to hang out with the others. They were all very nice. Jason arrived around noon with a bag of Tecate, so the drinking started. We basically drank all afternoon in the parking lot, looked at scooters and talked about random crap. It was pretty fun. Eventually we went looking for oxtail soup for some reason... One of the guys wanted it. The casino restaurant we went to didn't have it, but I jumped on the chance to actually eat breakfast at 2:30pm. After eating, the most rational thing to do was to try out Lobster Zone, a vending machine that was part aquarium/part claw game. For $2, you can try to catch a live lobster which will then be cooked in the restaurant. The third guy in our group actually caught one, resulting in ridiculous photos of him resting it on his shoulder. The drinking was starting to catch up with us. Someone decided to head to the pawn shop in "Pawn Stars," so 9 of us headed off on an expedition down Las Vegas Blvd. Some of us were a little sluggish, especially since none of us really had much sleep (Jason had the most with 6 hours), so the lineup outside the shop was not a welcome sight. A velvet rope, a bouncer with a gun on his leg and a no booze rule meant I wasn't keen to spend much time in the place. It was a boring shop, just cases and cases of jewelry that I wouldn't want, though I pointed out to one of the guys that the massive jewel-encrusted crucifixes were pretty cool. He and I headed outside because it was a bit dull inside. The others trickled out, and a few of us decided to get a head start because we were the slowest walkers. We went to some buffet that did have oxtail soup, but we were all getting a bit bitchy with the lack of sleep and the huge amounts of beer. Once back on Fremont, I couldn't handle it anymore and went for a laydown in my room until the all-nighter. I didn't sleep, but I rested. It was wholly necessary to have done this.
I met up with the crew around 10:30pm and we headed across the street to the Plaza for the party. It was pretty swish, obviously a fantastic room in its heyday, but still pretty nice. I started drinking to catch up (losing 3 hours of drinking was significant) and noticed that two of the guys were practically passed out by 11pm. Jason fell a few times trying to walk up the stairs, though at the time I thought it was just because it was dark. The DJs were pretty good, but it took a bit for the crowd to start dancing. I hung out with Jason and his good friends John and Kris from Minneapolis, and we were all pretty jazzed when the guitarist from Paul Weller's band came out to play a few songs. People kind of lost it by this time. I went out to the ladies' and started talking to some guy from California who was lovely, only to be literally dragged away by Jason to do a Maker's Mark shot with him and John. No idea why this was a good idea, but it gave me the spins. Shortly after, Jason decided he would try for the standby flight at 6am (with NASCAR, it was unlikely he'd get home later in the day) so he and two of the other guys flying around the same time and I went to collect his stuff from his room. One of the passed out guys was passed out and didn't even stir when we walked in. I walked Jason and the others to the taxi, said goodbyes, and went for a walk down Fremont. You know how I hate saying goodbye... I bought $25 of candy that is sitting on my counter untouched. To bed at 5:30am.
I woke up at 8:30 because I was still drunk and feeling ill, and couldn't get back to sleep before the 11am check out. I contemplated paying an extra $20 to stay in the room until it was time to go to the airport, but that seemed like a cop out. I took the Deuce to the strip and walked around for hours. I went for lunch at some point in Caesar's Palace in a Japanese restaurant that wasn't as good as I can get here for less, but they were playing the hockey game, so I sat at the bar and tried not to say much. It was weird, after being around the Olympics for two weeks, to sit quietly when Canada won. Someone walked by with a slush guitar and I made a mental note of the place (Jason later admitted it was his biggest failure of the weekend, something he will remedy now that he knows where to get one). I decided to go to Madame Tussaud's to kill some time and realised it would have been more fun with another person. Alas... I finally just gave up, walked to New York, New York, and caught a taxi to the airport 4 hours before my flight. I was tired and feeling sickly, and that seemed the best thing.
Am totally into going again next year. It was good times, all around.
Honestly, had I not met up with my friend, I'm not sure what I would have done. So much of the weekend was great because I got to hang out with him and meet some of the people from the Chicago scene. Those scooterists really take drinking to a recreational sport level.
I landed and headed to the hotel to meet my friend in the lobby. He wasn't there. I went upstairs to drop off my stuff and check if my cell worked in the States (it didn't. Those fuckers at Fido, who assured me it would work, are in my bad book now), and headed back downstairs. He wasn't there. I walked up and down Fremont, taking pictures of neon signs and avoiding every NASCAR fan in Vegas who were enthralled with Foghat for an hour. At that point I realised I'd be alone all weekend if I didn't do something, so called long distance from my room phone to his cell, only to find he was in the lobby trying to get my room from the front desk. Sigh. He came up and we went to meet the others before heading to the bar for the night's party.
The Beauty Bar was made more famous by a Sex and the City episode and the Vegas location has been around for 6 years or so. They shut down the alleyway, put up an outdoor stage, and had a great soulie band from LA called Police and Thieves. I was excited when the ladies came on with sequined dresses. The crowd was a bit lame, though, and didn't really move much at all, so we went back inside to the dancefloor in front of the DJ. Not a lot of action inside either (boring DJ), so we just drank a lot and I chatted with some of the others. Jason had seen someone with a guitar full of boozy slush, the sort that lets you suck it through the electrical cord straw and wear it with a guitar strap, and decided around 1:30am that he HAD to have one. So he and I headed out to see what we could find, only we never found it. It was good to hang out with him, though, and get a little one-on-one time. By the time we got back to the bar, most everyone we knew was gone, so we sat outside and listened to music and chatted. At some point we headed back to the hotel and said goodnight. I realised I would need morning reinforcements, so I headed out to the Walgreens, only to run into Jason and a couple of the other guys who were out gambling. I think it was about 5am by the time I dropped into bed.
For some annoying reason, I was up at 7:30am, but puttered around my room until 11am. After a quick call to the other room, I headed to the rally behind the other hotel. I saw a couple of the Chicago crew, but was hoping to meet up with Jason first because, you know, I'm kind of shy. He took his time (I found out he had been sleeping when I called, the lucky bastard) and I eventually made a move to hang out with the others. They were all very nice. Jason arrived around noon with a bag of Tecate, so the drinking started. We basically drank all afternoon in the parking lot, looked at scooters and talked about random crap. It was pretty fun. Eventually we went looking for oxtail soup for some reason... One of the guys wanted it. The casino restaurant we went to didn't have it, but I jumped on the chance to actually eat breakfast at 2:30pm. After eating, the most rational thing to do was to try out Lobster Zone, a vending machine that was part aquarium/part claw game. For $2, you can try to catch a live lobster which will then be cooked in the restaurant. The third guy in our group actually caught one, resulting in ridiculous photos of him resting it on his shoulder. The drinking was starting to catch up with us. Someone decided to head to the pawn shop in "Pawn Stars," so 9 of us headed off on an expedition down Las Vegas Blvd. Some of us were a little sluggish, especially since none of us really had much sleep (Jason had the most with 6 hours), so the lineup outside the shop was not a welcome sight. A velvet rope, a bouncer with a gun on his leg and a no booze rule meant I wasn't keen to spend much time in the place. It was a boring shop, just cases and cases of jewelry that I wouldn't want, though I pointed out to one of the guys that the massive jewel-encrusted crucifixes were pretty cool. He and I headed outside because it was a bit dull inside. The others trickled out, and a few of us decided to get a head start because we were the slowest walkers. We went to some buffet that did have oxtail soup, but we were all getting a bit bitchy with the lack of sleep and the huge amounts of beer. Once back on Fremont, I couldn't handle it anymore and went for a laydown in my room until the all-nighter. I didn't sleep, but I rested. It was wholly necessary to have done this.
I met up with the crew around 10:30pm and we headed across the street to the Plaza for the party. It was pretty swish, obviously a fantastic room in its heyday, but still pretty nice. I started drinking to catch up (losing 3 hours of drinking was significant) and noticed that two of the guys were practically passed out by 11pm. Jason fell a few times trying to walk up the stairs, though at the time I thought it was just because it was dark. The DJs were pretty good, but it took a bit for the crowd to start dancing. I hung out with Jason and his good friends John and Kris from Minneapolis, and we were all pretty jazzed when the guitarist from Paul Weller's band came out to play a few songs. People kind of lost it by this time. I went out to the ladies' and started talking to some guy from California who was lovely, only to be literally dragged away by Jason to do a Maker's Mark shot with him and John. No idea why this was a good idea, but it gave me the spins. Shortly after, Jason decided he would try for the standby flight at 6am (with NASCAR, it was unlikely he'd get home later in the day) so he and two of the other guys flying around the same time and I went to collect his stuff from his room. One of the passed out guys was passed out and didn't even stir when we walked in. I walked Jason and the others to the taxi, said goodbyes, and went for a walk down Fremont. You know how I hate saying goodbye... I bought $25 of candy that is sitting on my counter untouched. To bed at 5:30am.
I woke up at 8:30 because I was still drunk and feeling ill, and couldn't get back to sleep before the 11am check out. I contemplated paying an extra $20 to stay in the room until it was time to go to the airport, but that seemed like a cop out. I took the Deuce to the strip and walked around for hours. I went for lunch at some point in Caesar's Palace in a Japanese restaurant that wasn't as good as I can get here for less, but they were playing the hockey game, so I sat at the bar and tried not to say much. It was weird, after being around the Olympics for two weeks, to sit quietly when Canada won. Someone walked by with a slush guitar and I made a mental note of the place (Jason later admitted it was his biggest failure of the weekend, something he will remedy now that he knows where to get one). I decided to go to Madame Tussaud's to kill some time and realised it would have been more fun with another person. Alas... I finally just gave up, walked to New York, New York, and caught a taxi to the airport 4 hours before my flight. I was tired and feeling sickly, and that seemed the best thing.
Am totally into going again next year. It was good times, all around.
(g)olden times
I didn't mean to neglect you. Really, I didn't. It's just... it's been a busy time. Stuff came up. I can either recap the last month or I can pretend there hasn't been any lag in time.
Maybe I'll just tell you what I remember. Or maybe the Olympics recap is easier.
1) Wilco and Califone for free. Went with my friend Neal and had a grand old time, even though it totally poured. Did I mention it was free? Because that made it more awesome. It probably would have been awesome if we paid money, but free is always better.
2) Elliott Brood and Rich Hope with Rachel. It felt like old times, when Rachel could stay up past 11pm and not be woken up at 6am by small children. I miss seeing shows with Rachel because she is fun to talk to between bands. Great, high energy show. Could barely take pictures because of the temporary floor was bouncing too much. It was all a blur.
3) Canada VS Sweden Women's Hockey and Feist & Chilly Gonzales at the Orpheum. My sis got last minute tickets to the game, so I weaseled my way out of work and we went. It was a completely lopsided game, ending at 13-1 with Canada not even shooting on net in the 3rd period. It was fun to be in such an electric crowd, but so hard to watch after a while. In the evening I went to the Feist show and got backstage to meet her and had a brief encounter with Jian Ghomeshi. He spoke at length with my friends about the Laurie Anderson show and checked out the superzoom on my camera.
4) Julie Doiron. It was a weird night, with Julie playing after a hockey game, before Joannie Rochette skated. No other bands. Poor Julie... The crowd was not as into her as they would have been somewhere else. But there were some people into her. I went with Neal and met Sarah and Glenn there. After the show we all played games at the Canada Pavilion. I would fail as a ski jumper; Neal would be awesome.
5) I somehow talked my boss into requesting a team building day so we could wander around some of the Olympic pavilions. We went to the Mint, which was totally cool and worth the 3 hour wait. Holding the medals... I can understand the lure of athletes giving up so much for the chance to win one of those. We had a nice lunch a Scuie and then headed to the BC Pavilion for the da Vinci show. My boss and I headed to the Canada Pavilion while the others left for their return to the suburbs, and stumbled upon a mascot parade, which is scary if you're not ready for it.
6) The Olympics messed up my part-time work schedule so badly that it will be months before I can catch up. Nearly impossible to get to or from work after my day job. Walking into large crowds also gave me flashbacks to the riots of '94. Unnerving.
I don't know... It was fun. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. It's hard to continue to be annoyed by such a horrendous waste of money when people are just so joyful everywhere you go. Am excited to try to get to some Paralympics stuff. Sledge hockey looks awesome!
Maybe I'll just tell you what I remember. Or maybe the Olympics recap is easier.
1) Wilco and Califone for free. Went with my friend Neal and had a grand old time, even though it totally poured. Did I mention it was free? Because that made it more awesome. It probably would have been awesome if we paid money, but free is always better.
2) Elliott Brood and Rich Hope with Rachel. It felt like old times, when Rachel could stay up past 11pm and not be woken up at 6am by small children. I miss seeing shows with Rachel because she is fun to talk to between bands. Great, high energy show. Could barely take pictures because of the temporary floor was bouncing too much. It was all a blur.
3) Canada VS Sweden Women's Hockey and Feist & Chilly Gonzales at the Orpheum. My sis got last minute tickets to the game, so I weaseled my way out of work and we went. It was a completely lopsided game, ending at 13-1 with Canada not even shooting on net in the 3rd period. It was fun to be in such an electric crowd, but so hard to watch after a while. In the evening I went to the Feist show and got backstage to meet her and had a brief encounter with Jian Ghomeshi. He spoke at length with my friends about the Laurie Anderson show and checked out the superzoom on my camera.
4) Julie Doiron. It was a weird night, with Julie playing after a hockey game, before Joannie Rochette skated. No other bands. Poor Julie... The crowd was not as into her as they would have been somewhere else. But there were some people into her. I went with Neal and met Sarah and Glenn there. After the show we all played games at the Canada Pavilion. I would fail as a ski jumper; Neal would be awesome.
5) I somehow talked my boss into requesting a team building day so we could wander around some of the Olympic pavilions. We went to the Mint, which was totally cool and worth the 3 hour wait. Holding the medals... I can understand the lure of athletes giving up so much for the chance to win one of those. We had a nice lunch a Scuie and then headed to the BC Pavilion for the da Vinci show. My boss and I headed to the Canada Pavilion while the others left for their return to the suburbs, and stumbled upon a mascot parade, which is scary if you're not ready for it.
6) The Olympics messed up my part-time work schedule so badly that it will be months before I can catch up. Nearly impossible to get to or from work after my day job. Walking into large crowds also gave me flashbacks to the riots of '94. Unnerving.
I don't know... It was fun. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. It's hard to continue to be annoyed by such a horrendous waste of money when people are just so joyful everywhere you go. Am excited to try to get to some Paralympics stuff. Sledge hockey looks awesome!
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