uh oh

Today I'm supposed to meet up with a friend who has been submerged in massive depression for the last 2 years. I've been feeling out of sorts/in the dumper for most of 2012. This can't go well.

cheers

This evening I mentioned to my friends that I was tired of being happy for all of my other friends. It's a flippant comment, but there's an element of truth to it. There's a whole lot of good stuff going on in other people's lives: a brand new engagement, a few people getting into new relationships, a new baby to get to know, new jobs... It's fantastic that these things happen to my friends because they really deserve to be happy.

Just sometimes I wonder if there's a limit to how happy I can be for everybody else before I start dying of melancholy inside.

Maybe some people are just designed for happiness and others aren't. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not wired to be happy. All I can hope for is mild contentment, and that is a real struggle sometimes. Like today. I'm tired of being happy for everybody else. It would be nice to be happy for me.

Oh look, beer.