on being midtown

Last night my friend was talking about his ex-girlfriend (again). Seems she met a hipster at one of the local dance palaces and is now pretending to be a hipster herself, even though she's out of the loop and oddly nerdy and works as a social worker. Not to be judgemental; this is coming from my friend. From what I know about her and the definition of hipster, I said there was no way she could be a hipster. I then mentioned the Hipster Handbook, an amusing glimpse into hipsterdom with all the information you could possibly need to know about this strange animal.

After I got home I pulled it off my shelf to re-read it. I've got to say... It's still hilarious. In reference to the ex-girlfriend, the social work aspect is really one of the big things going against her. Her hair is also all wrong and her taste in music is suspect.

But I did learn that I'm a little more hipster than I care to admit, just from my occupation alone. Classifiable, even. If I read more acceptable books, shopped more frequently at vintage shops and drank absinthe I would have scored better on the test. As it is, I just rank as a poseur. I'm OK with this. Being deck is so 2003.

I'm finding it remarkably easy to survive despite being a bit midtown about stuff. I could never really get behind the '80s clothing (seriously, do I need to relive that horror?) and not drinking coffee on Commercial/Main hasn't caused any major problems for me. But I am envious of the hipsters' social skills. They know people.

Also, I love Rose Melberg more than is healthy. How I long for more Softies albums to make me cry and hold hands with someone to.

Currently reading :
The Hipster Handbook
By Robert Lanham
Release date: 04 February, 2003

snood

The last year I worked at the newspaper we upgraded our computers. Our Editor-In-Chief declared that we would be fired if we loaded Snood onto our computers, as most people wasted hours and hours shooting those little... things. Of course, no one listened to him and all computers promptly had Snood. The next rule was we could only play Snood when our section was done. I was the only one who actually followed that rule, which is why I finished my section around 6pm while everyone else worked on stuff until midnight.

Why does this matter? Because I just remembered why we weren't allowed to play Snood at work. So addictive. I need to take it off my computer again. I'm losing large portions of my life to it.

Currently reading :
Take the Cannoli : Stories From the New World
By Sarah Vowell
Release date: 03 April, 2001

cue in the "chariots of fire" theme

Today is a good day. I got a letter from the grad studies department informing me that I was accepted into grad school for September. Whew... Finally!

I started my application last February and have been waiting, waiting, waiting to find anything out. I tried to stop thinking about it because it was stressing me out so much. That didn't work, of course, especially when I got correspondence telling me my grades (though above the requirement) weren't good enough, the program was oversubscribed, my application had expired... It shouldn't be so easy to talk my way into a program, and I guess in retrospect it wasn't, but it's a good life lesson: don't take no for an answer. Or else cry if you don't get what you want. (I didn't have to cry, though. Not this time, at least.)

So now I have to figure out how to finance this degree without going into debt again. Ideas? I mean, aside from setting up a sex line or home-based live porn feed. Something quick and easy would be best.

Currently listening :
Robot Trouble
By Barcelona
Release date: 04 July, 2000

eyes, ears, mouth and nose

Are your ears somehow connected to your hair follicles? My cold has made my hair itchy, or the tickle in my ears is directly related to the itchiness of my hair. It's driving me nuts.

I hate being sick. It hits me fast and then sort of lingers. This time I actually stayed home from work the first two days to get rid of it, but it's still here. I would have stayed home from work again today, but I really wanted to keep my plans for tonight, though I suppose blowing my nose all evening isn't the best meeting. Sorry about that.

It's time to hit the hard stuff. What does cinnamon schnapps do to colds? Probably less than tea, huh? I think it's time for the cold cocktail: Neo Citran, Tylenol Cold for Nighttime, a shot of cinnamon schnapps, and a hot chocolate chaser. If that doesn't knock me out, I don't know what will.

Currently listening :
Yeti
By Caribou
Release date: 22 March, 2005

young fantasies

I asked my co-worker about his other job as a teaching assistant at one of the universities, if he's ever dated any of his students. I'm not sure why I wanted to know this, but it was on my mind from a bunch of tv shows I've recently watched, all that had female students dating their professors and then winding up dead. Not to say my co-worker looks the type to date then kill young co-eds, but...

So, anyway, he said he has never dated, past or present, any of his students and this made me think about whether or not I would have dated any of my teachers/professors/teaching assistants. I either had female instructors or unattractive male ones. But I know of friends, especially in university, that had attractive TAs and/or profs and that these instructors were often the objects of desire by the ladies in the class.

I'm sure guys have the same sort of thing, the Van Halen approach to female teachers, but I've known more guys with librarian fantasies than teacher fantasies. So is that the divide between the sexes? Women fantasize about male teachers, men fantasize about librarians? Sure, it's not so black and white, but this makes me want to take an informal survey to see what sort of samples I get for it.

The link between the sexes: being smart and some sort of authority figure may be sexy. But only if they're a super-vixen hidden behind glasses, bad hair-dos, and ill-chosen wardrobes.

Ah, the mysteries of life revealed.

Currently listening :
Oh You're So Silent Jens
By Jens Lekman
Release date: 22 November, 2005

holy crap!

Today my counter tells me that my blog has been viewed 1000 times. Which leads me to wonder...

Who the heck is reading my blog?

Currently reading :
Where the Truth Lies : A Novel
By Rupert Holmes
Release date: 24 June, 2003

late to bed, early to rise

I'm finding it difficult to sleep in. It's a bit distressing because it's more about the time my body forces me awake rather than the length of time I require sleep to function. Daily at 6:47, or minutes surrounding it, I'm awoken by something. Not sure what it is, but it's very subtle. I used to think it was the train that runs along the ravine below my house. Or the enormous truck that idles somewhere in my neighbourhood, rattling the windows. No, it's something else. I can't even blame the light because there really isn't that much at that time. All I know is that it's making me a bit mental.

I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just go to bed earlier? you ask. I've tried. It doesn't work. Then I wake up at 4:44 (seriously, the same time every time). If I were of Asian descent this would freak me out, the "shi" of 4 being unlucky and, you know, death.

I did sleep until 8:45am last weekend, but it's because I didn't go to sleep until 4:30. I don't think that's going to work during weekdays. I need to figure something out. I guess I should love sleep more. There's just too much to do that requires alertness, or at least movement outside the bed area.

Also, the soft, attractively-coloured cashmere sweater I got a few weeks ago seems to make me want to rake my eyes out. Just a little. I'm allergic to my sweater, to the point that I actually have to take allergy medicine just to be near it. I don't like this new development at all. I will endeavor to overcome this problem.

Currently listening :
Friend I Once Had
By Club 8
Release date: 09 December, 2003

i'd like to thank the foreign press

The Golden Globes are on. They're kinda boring, you know? I'm in it for the dresses. Not that I'd ever be caught dead in some of those things. What scares me most is that someone got paid to dress them in crap-looking dresses. All you need is a pair of eyes to see that something looks like shit. It makes no sense.

The foreign press associated with the Golden Globes don't really write. Some of them haven't published a single article within the country they "represent" for years. Or so I can see when doing searches on them. I know the Passionate Eye had a doc last year about the GGs and the complete fabrication of what they do. It's an organisation merely to throw a big party and to give access to famous people. I guess they need some way to get Sarah Jessica Parker to show up, so they nominate her for a crappy picture. Seriously, did you see "The Family Stone"? There's a reason: it's not good.

I'm a hater. I know it.

Currently listening :
Mass Romantic
By New Pornographers
Release date: 07 October, 2003

success

All things considered, I scored. At the sale I found 3 nesting bowls in coloured Pyrex (2 yellow, one green) and an extra bright green one, all for $12.50. This, to me, is a great deal, as I now have 5 mixing bowls of varying size. The ones I salivated over were a set of 4 nesting bowls in primary colours, but the person wanted $58! I didn't find rectangular loaf ones with lids; just without. Boo. Also got two sweet-ass juice glasses from the '60s and a china cup-and-saucer, but those weren't good deals. I'm just a sucker.

Anyone want to start garage saling on Saturdays?

For those of you in the Vancouver area, with the cup-and-saucer I'm one step closer to having enough sets for tea. Get ready for finger sandwiches, scones, squares and, obviously, tea in the next few months. Assuming, of course, I can get rid of enough stuff in my apartment so that my multitude of chairs can be set out. Or when I move to a larger apartment. Reserve your place now.

Currently reading :
Assassination Vacation
By Sarah Vowell
Release date: 29 March, 2005

the quest

Off this morning to look for coloured Pyrex at the Croatian Cultural Centre's semi-annual flea market. The $3 admission is totally worth it. How can people part with such pretty kitchenware?

Currently listening :
Pretending to See the Future-Omd
By Omd Tribute-Pretending to S
Release date: 28 August, 2001

the other side

I've finally done it. After what seems like years (actually, that may be true, all things considered), I've finally not only gotten a new (to me) computer, but a Mac. I know, I know... Once you go Mac you never go back. I feel like a newly blind person trying out the walking stick/cane for the first time. Tenative because I don't know if I'm going to fuck something up.

I did actually wonder about that today, what I would do if I woke up and was suddenly blind. Could I dial a number for help without making a million mistakes? I've figured out whose number I both know and could easily figure out on my phone if blindness strikes me, so I feel OK with the initial realisation. I think I worry too much about my failing eyesight. I'd probably worry less if I had some fancy new glasses. Do you think blind people would wear glasses just because the glasses were cool? Though I suppose they would have to go by the advice of a friend, whose taste in glasses could be questionable. I mean, what if they didn't know that friend was angry at them that day and made them buy some crap glasses?

One thing that is obvious: I need to get some speakers. Music through a Mac Mini is sad. It's missing something, like volume and tone and bass. You know, stuff that makes music sound good. But it's nice to have music audible that is neither on a personal CD player with crappy earphones nor on cassette. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE mixed tapes and still have a vast collection of cassettes from various bands I still listen to in varying degrees. But there's an easiness when given the option to listen to CD or cassette, or vinyl for that matter. I've missed my CDs.

The one problem with this computer, and it's not really a problem per se, is that the girl I bought it from (thank you, Craigslist) loaded a more current OS than the disks she gave me, so I still have her name all over the place. I deleted her music collection (didn't spend much time combing through it when I saw Spice Girls and Three Doors Down; they're just not something I'd want to listen to) and some other stuff, but I can't actually get rid of her name until she gives me a copy of the OS she loaded. Can I? I mean, it won't let me do anything to get rid of her stuff. It's just doesn't seem to be an option.

I can say it's nice not to look at a red screen anymore. I mean, red is great and all, but when I said, "I see red," while looking at my old computer I really meant it. OK, it was a lighter shade of red, a blush if you will, but it was a colour that made the computer nerds at the computer fixing place gather around like moths to a flame, so intoxicated with the colour were they. Nerds... so rad.

Currently listening :
You Could Have It So Much Better
By Franz Ferdinand
Release date: 04 October, 2005

a pleasant surprise

Just back from the Pan Pacific with my friend. We were too chicken to go to the Five Sails, the fancy schmancy restaurant, so we went to the "casual" dining restaurant. We both had pasta and salad, and shared a dessert (surprisingly, we were both pretty full after the dinner portion). It was cheap! Like, with tax it was $22.47! Granted, we didn't drink and had no meat products in either dish, but still... cheap. I can afford to live in 1986. If only houses were at 1986 prices...

The pleasant surprise was during dessert. Just as the dessert was dropped off (a fluffy chocolate mousse cake with raspberry coulis and white chocolate sauce), a 20-minute fireworks display went off just outside the windows. It was amazing! Lots of explodey bits that resemble those flowers that look like fireworks. Do you know what I mean? Hmmm... Like dandelions before they turn into the yellow flower, only less so and with fatter pedals. Like those. It was lovely. Not sure what it was for. The waiter said it had nothing to do with the hotel. He suggested it was a bar mitzvah or something. We figured it would be for a movie. No one sets off fireworks in January, especially in Coal Harbour.

I entered the draw for the $5000 weekend getaway to the Pan Pacific, so you could start sweet-talking me if you want an in when I win. I will win on the 16th so I encourage you not to enter the draw.

Currently listening :
The Best on Trattoria
By Kahimi Karie
Release date: 25 August, 1998

hotel finery

It's the 20th anniversary of the Pan Pacific Hotel and they're having a ridiculous sale on rooms: $86 a night (regularly starting around $360 a night)! The restaurants and lounge also have 1986 menu prices, so it's ridiculously cheaper than usual. The problem is it's only this week, payday isn't until Friday, and I would feel a bit like a loser staying at a hotel alone.

So after work my friend and I are going to one of the cheaper hotel eateries just so we can enter the draw for a $5000 stay at the hotel, everything included. I've worn my rattiest sweater today, knowing full-well noses will be looked down when I enter, but my friend can carry the slack, as she's girlie and generally well-dressed. I'm feeling like lobster bisque.

If you want to meet us in the lounge, we'll be there after 6pm. Unless we are already tossed on our asses out the door.

Currently reading :
Assassination Vacation
By Sarah Vowell
Release date: 29 March, 2005

double true

OK, so Andy Samberg is hilarious. Being a secret SNL watcher, I'd seen his "Lazy Sunday" video with Chris Parnell last week and laughed my head off (the lettuce-eating sketch... not so much), but didn't think much more about it because no one watches SNL anymore and I'd have to explain it without remembering any of the words. At my friends' house on Saturday, she excitedly talked about this video from SNL. I realised she was talking about the one I'd seen, and it was still hilarious after the second viewing. At work I showed it to some co-workers and they were doubled-over with laughter. And now I can't shake some of the words. Damn you, Andy Samberg!

oh woe

Today I got an email from the faculty I applied to for grad school. I applied last year, somewhere around April or May, hoping to get in for January 2006. The spots were full by then, so my application was forwarded for September 2006. I thought all was well, that everything had been forwarded to the Faculty of Grad Studies for the final step in December. I thought wrong.

The email detailed that, since I applied for January, I'd have to re-submit my application for September. That's not so bad, as the one good thing about applying online is that the system saves previous applications and you can just go through and re-submit everything as was. The thing that sucks is that I have to pay for the application again, another $80! Which, I suppose in the whole scheme of things, is a small price to pay if I get in. If I don't... well, that would just suck.

And so the grad school saga continues. If anyone has some pull in this tug-of-war of educational application... this would be a fantastic time to help out.

Currently listening :
Twin Cinema
By The New Pornographers
Release date: 23 August, 2005

knatty

I wish I could knit. I can do the basic stitch, but can't remember how to cast on, how to purl, how to add or decrease stitches, how to cast off... It's horribly frustrating seeing cute patterns for hats and sweaters and socks, and knowing there is little chance I'll be making any of those anytime soon. While I think the idea of a stitch n' bitch group is appealing, the harsh reality is that I'm so basic that any group would be frustrated showing me over and over and over again how to do the same stuff. Or so I assume.

Yesterday I met up with a couple of girlfriends to attempt our first knitting/crafting circle. It is possible that we'll be able to get better with practice, but none of us are fantastic knitters by any stretch. What we need is a knitting mentor, someone with unbelievable patience and a tolerance for whining (from me) and mind-numbing slowness. Or else we're going to have to craft other stuff instead. Which is fine, but I want to knit.

What I'd really like is to get a co-ed group together. In BUST they had an article about men's knitting groups and I was intrigued. Having been in a female-dominant department in university, I'm always interested to know how men get into "women's arts." And I'm not entirely sure how men get into knitting. But, seeing how I'm at a basic level, it's not like any man or woman would be any worse at knitting than me, so this is a perfect time to entice people into a group.

Now how does one go about establishing such a collective? And collecting members? I would think men would want to hang out with cute girls for any reason. Joiners? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

And "The Ringer" is both offensive and hilarious. I thought Johnny Knoxville was retarded before he even pretended to be.

Currently watching :
Amelie
Release date: 16 July, 2002

jazz hands

Current mood:tired but unwilling to sleep

At the show I was at tonight there were a number of boys wearing hand coverings with buckles and strings and bells and whistles. I was concerned for them because I saw them on the way to and from the washroom. I really wanted to ask how difficult it was to get those off because I wouldn't imagine they would do their business with them on. But some of them did look pretty drunk so I didn't want to get close enough to ask.

What self-respecting hipster would go to a ska show? Lucky I'm not a hipster. Or maybe unlucky. I think it's mainly in the hair. I've been studying them in their natural habitat. You know, the indie record store, the acceptable rock shows, hair salons, shoe stores... I enjoy consulting my Hipster Handbook to classify them as they surely classify me as a nerd when they see me, if they see me through their fringe (the new word for bangs). On Thursday night my friends and I tried to go to what we thought was a nerd show, but it wound up being a hipster show and half of us couldn't get in. It's a rough life when hipsters make it to shows earlier than nerds.

Have you seen the Pepto Bismol commercial featuring b-boys doing that little dance? It's... interesting. If, by interesting, you mean disturbing.

And is it wrong to want to see "The Ringer"? Because I really do.

Currently listening:
Casual
By The Shermans
Release date: 18 May, 2001

paranoia

Current mood:need to ask?

I think the copiers are planning a revolt against me. I've been pushing their buttons.

two things

Current mood:a little bit of this, a little bit of that

One: Belle and Sebastian are playing at the Commodore on March 23rd. Does anyone have an inside track on how to get tickets to this fucking show?!!! I CAN'T MISS THEM!!! Thank you in advance. I love you.

Second: Get ready to be offended: http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2006/01/05/tree-killer060105.html Makes me sooo angry! I would like to club her at the knee.

trailers

Current mood:torn

OK, I think I've established that, while I enjoy spending time with friends' kids, I don't want them myself. I just want to be clear about this. No interest in them except as a slightly eccentric fake aunt or the like. So don't suggest my clock is ticking or shit like that. My clock is digital.

But I just saw trailers for two kids' movies that I really want to see. Kids' movies are looking so much better than "adult" films lately. The first is Nanny McPhee. The colours look so fantastic, so vibrant, and it has Colin Firth. I don't know what is it about him that makes so many women swoon but my heart flutters when I see him. It looks like Mary Poppins mixed with The Sound of Music with more kids. So exciting. The second is Hoodwinked, the real story behind Little Red Riding Hood. The illustration looks so good and it's just so ridiculous. Both are out this month. Guess I should get out to watch the other kids' movies I've been meaning to go to. I just like waiting until all the kids have seen it.

In unrelated news, Ian Hanomansing got a haircut! If it were possible, he looks even more dreamy. Handsomemanthing. Swoon!

Currently watching:
The Kids in the Hall - Complete Season 2 (1990-1991)
Release date: 16 November, 2004

curious

Current mood:doubtful

I'm extremely interested to know who actually reads my random tangent talking/blog, yet that is not yet a feature I can actively see, save for my few subscribers (and I thank you, faithful). So... like, who are you? Tom? Is that you?

Can I just say... Tom takes a dreamy picture every so often. But... has anyone actually met this guy? How do I know he isn't just a model, a picture in a purchased picture frame, manipulated into different faked poses to trick us into becoming hooked on MySpace crack? Well, I'm not falling for it. No way.

I also sometimes doubt the moon landing and am positive most public bathrooms have cameras in the ventilation system or behind a mirror, so... Conspiracy theory should be a Masters program; then I'd have something to apply to if this other program doesn't come through.

And I'm still reading this fricking book. Cripes, I don't want to read it. Perhaps this has tipped me off the deep end.

Currently reading:
The Secret Mulroney Tapes: Unguarded Confessions of a Prime Minister
By Peter C. Newman
Release date: 12 September, 2005

men in dresses

Current mood:overwhelmed

How many episodes of Kids In The Hall can one person sit through at one time? Because I have to get through 25 episodes in the next few days. It's weird that I remember so many of these. I must have watched a lot of TV when I was younger. And now, I suppose.

I'm trying to get through the first season because the second season has a few episodes that I love, including "The Trapper" and I just got it today. But I want to see it all in order. I could borrow it again from the library, but that will ruin the flow.

Could someone put in a purchase request for season three at VPL? I tried to get the DVD librarian to buy it, but I know her and she was reluctant to order it for me. So I need people who can pretend that they want it. She can't say no to regular anonymous patrons. Let me know when you do. Then I can wait for your requests to be filled and watch it in, like, 6 months. Unless you just request it and don't watch it. But why would you want to miss "Girl Drink Drunk"?!

Currently watching:
The Kids in the Hall - Complete Season 1 (1989-1990)
Release date: 27 April, 2004

new year, indeed

Current mood:off/out of it

This year things are going to change. No resolutions; I don't like being told I should make them. But things are going to happen. Stuff, as it were. Stuff I don't usually do. It should be a year of never-done-befores. Or at least unusual behaviours.

I went to Seattle today. It was fine. The exhibit was lovely. I beat the rush, meaning I didn't have to stand in the rain outside to buy a ticket. Found a "make it yourself" camera that resembles a model kit. I also popped into a store and immediately found two tops I like a great deal. And had a cheeseburger and fries for $3.77 at Turf while watching a number of drunk men in the attached bar at 1:36pm. It was all good.

But I do hate the Greyhound, and actually any sort of travelling vessel that will wait for people that can't get through the border. I spent 9 hours in a bus today. At both sides of the border we were delayed between 30 and 45 minutes. It's extraordinarily frustrating waiting on a full bus for one person. But I wouldn't want to be that person. We had to leave someone on the way back because we were already an hour late. I would really like to be in a car the next time I go.

Why did I never get into Phoenix? They have some great songs. And they were one of the dreamiest rocks shows of last year. And I swooned a great deal last year. Swoon.

Currently reading:
Degrassi Generations: The Official 411
By Kathryn Ellis
Release date: 20 September, 2005