This year is fine. Things are going OK. I've got nothing to really complain about. But I'm also trying not to complain this year, even though sometimes it's really hard not to. It isn't really a resolution so much as an effort to remember to do something I should be doing anyway. I'm making the effort to be more positive in general because positive people are happier people and I'm tired of depressive episodes. There are still 4 months of the rainy season to contend with, so it's either this or buy a sunray light.
Really, I've been trying to just be so incredibly busy that I don't have time to think about not being happy to make my body think it's happy. But my schedule...
People regularly shudder when they hear what my work schedule is like, saying, "Well, you should be glad you have work. A lot of people don't." And I know that, yes, I should be grateful for having more work than I can physically work. Three jobs is more than one person should really have to work. Yet it's hard to remember to be grateful when there are no days off for 20 days, when the work week stretches to 65 hours, when I have to miss out on friends' birthdays and scotch tastings and book readings and the like. But I'm trying.
This morning a distant newish friend-type wondered why I didn't live where she lives so we can listen to music and hang out whenever we want. And I realised that I had given up on finding work in other places, even though I'm always thinking about maybe moving somewhere else. So I'm going to apply for jobs elsewhere and see what happens. Judging from my success at securing full-time work here, I'm probably not going anywhere for a while, but I won't know unless I apply.
Really, I should be taking courses and joining committees if I'm really serious about all of this job security stuff. I just hate all this bullshit resume building crap that employers look at to differentiate people. So I'm going to see if I can fit in some online courses and maybe an in-person one to see if that helps me out. Adding more to my plate just makes me look really good at multi-tasking, right?
