It feels like I'm in slo-mo, barely moving enough to be considered live-action. My parents' house, warm and cozy with actual heat that wakes me up in the morning, moves at a much slower speed than my regular life.
The holidays have been OK. My family is in one piece, well and fine and good. I got to see my Auntie Mary and a few cousins and realise that, as the years go by, they may become more important than ever. My parents see a couple of my cousins often: my dad spends part of almost every day at Jimmy's; my mom sees or talks to Elaine at least 5 or 6 times a week. These cousins are there should my parents need anything immediately. I've told them more than once how grateful I am that they are there for my parents when I can't be.
As I age I realise that I probably messed up my life. When I get older, to my parents' ages and older, who will I rely on for help? Will anyone be there?
Holidays really mess me up. They make me more reflective than I feel comfortable with and remind me that things won't always be like this, for better or worse. I've been trying to not get on my siblings' nerves, but had a minor fight with my sister about her not helping my mom with something and told off my brother because he was overstepping his welcome with some of his behaviour. My parents are happy to have us all here; I am wishing for the next visit I can have them to myself. Things are much easier when I don't resent how little my siblings seem to care about my parents.
My mom and I discussed Wii yesterday and agreed that I would buy one and they can visit and try it out to see if they like it. Mom wants an alternative to the gym and Dad has been complaining about his weight now that golf season is over, and none of us want him to sneak cigarettes in the wooden garage anymore. With a tiny bit of money from my grandfather, I figure I can splurge for this and see how the exercise games are for my parents. In theory I would love for my parents to be able to play video games for exercise, but I have a few hours of research to undertake on how seniors' mobility improves with the Wii. I need peer-reviewed research one way or the other. (This is the sort of nerd I've become. Or maybe I was always like this a bit.)
I've watched loads of "What not to wear," "Top chef," "Extreme makeover: Home edition," "LA Ink" and Star Wars movies (since when has Star Wars become easier to find on TV than A Christmas story?). I've nearly gotten my fill of holiday filler.
Tonight I'm going over to the basement of my parents' church for a fiddler/violinist who is in town visiting his grandfather. This seems completely random to me, but I'm playing loose and if my mom wants to go then I probably will go with. I'm not sure I can watch any more TV marathons right now.
Mom and I were working on chicken paprika for dinner and I have to run to help with the nukelin (spatzle). This is my favourite meal ever and I'm so excited.
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