just a moment

I neglected to mention yesterday...

In the morning I rode the bus to school. Usually I look out the window or stare at nothing. I managed to get a seat early on, about 3 or 4 stops in. Somewhere on 4th a group of people got on. I happened to glance up and saw a cute guy with a nice coat looking at me. I looked at him. He still looked at me. I put the pleasant face on. He did the same. Then we both looked away.

As more people got on the bus, he moved closer to me down the aisle. He brushed so close to me that his coat caught on my arm, opening up slightly at the bottom, a connection of wool on wool. I didn't move it; neither did he. We stayed like that for a few stops.

Eventually he got pushed down slightly from me, just behind me. He let people push by him instead of moving further into the bus. When people pushed by, he pushed into my shoulder. It was a comforting push, not mean or trying to avoid. Just nice.

After a while I thought about how this could possibly play out. We both get off the bus and go our separate ways? We both get off and have an awkward moment? We both get off and one of us waits expectantly for the other to get off? No, none of the scenarios seemed right. It was at that moment that I saw his arm reach for the cord. The ding broke my heart.

He pressed into me again, for no reason I could tell, and rested his hand on the pole behind my head. I could feel the warmth of his hand on my neck. As the bus lurched to a stop, it felt like he paused before stepping down, that moment where I could have said, "Don't go," or, "Wait for me." Instead, I stayed on the bus, trying not to look at him, to not have to see him walk away. I couldn't help it, of course. I looked. I saw him glance back when he reached the sidewalk, an over-the-shoulder look right at me. And off he walked towards a thatch of trees, the sway of the black jacket my last memory of him.

Love affairs on the bus always end badly. Especially when you're dealing with me.

Currently reading :
Windows XP For Dummies, 2nd Edition
By Andy Rathbone
Release date: 08 October, 2004