Cough, cough.
I am starting to get an uncomfortable feeling in my throat, as though a cold or something is trying to imbed itself there, causing a lot of throat clearing and ocassional coughing. I hate this feeling, the fighting of illness, especially when I can't really do much about it.
Things are due, work needs working, birthday parties require going-to. I don't have time to get sick. So I refuse to. You hear that, body? I'm not going to get sick. End of discussion.
Maybe I should splurge for the big bottle of Cold FX. Or maybe someone can bring a PST-free one or two from Alberta so I can pay the someone back and have a backstock of it. Regardless, I have to do something quick. I can't have showers constantly until it goes away on its own. And I am not a big fan of hot lemon and honey drinks. The cat tongue problem...
OK, I'm starting to get a little freaked out. This morning I got an email from a friend from university whom I haven't spoken to for about 6 years, since I visited when I was still living in Japan. It wasn't a completely disasterous visit, but I wound up spending most of it alone because her boyfriend at the time wouldn't let her do stuff with me unless he came as well, but didn't have any money so wanted me to pay for all of us to do stuff. So it could have been better. Anyway, we haven't talked in 6 years and today I got an email from her. Not a bad email; just a feeler email, testing the water. I was so glad to get it, as I thought she hated me (this seems to be a constant, doesn't it?). But it is creepy that these reconnections are happening at the same time. It makes me worry that something terrible is going to happen to me or someone I care about.
Granted, I did have a blow-up with another friend because I don't learn from my mistakes very well, but that shouldn't have brought this karmic reconnecting. It's a whole different level of weird.
Had a short discussion with my friend that when things are going well we always brace for the bad things to start. Like I can't believe that good things just happen without consequences. He is the same, but will often sabotage himself before karma kicks his ass. Me, I tend to like to wait it out and see how cruel and creative karma can be. Regardless, it's probably a bad view of life, the waiting for bad things to happen. But with this sort of expectation you're never surprised. I'm only surprised when good things happen.
Cough, cough. Maybe the cold is the payback.
Currently listening :
Woman Is the Fuehrer of the World
By The Pop Tarts
Release date: 22 September, 1998
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