I looked over my old journals from Japan today. For a while I was writing almost daily, trying to get down all the little everyday things that made me nuts. It seemed important, like I would want to remember all that stuff even while it pushed me into a major depression. Today I wish I hadn't.
The entry on the visit to the psychic was hard to read. Essentially, the trio of psychics gave me a bunch of information and some timelines on when to expect stuff to happen. Some of the stuff has happened, like school and job stuff. The personal/relationship stuff hasn't. Or at least I convinced myself of that because I'm still single.
Looking back at the info, I see that the one psychic said I would meet someone at work, that it would be a good match and I might marry. I figured, since I'm not dating anyone from work, that was untrue and hadn't happened yet. But I realise that it probably has happened, that I have met someone at work who is a good match. It's just that we are friends and will only ever be friends. This became more real when I realised she said two people similarly passed between my 20th and 22nd years: I know who those people are because it was the same sort of situation.
She also said I could decide to wait for my soul mate to show up, who will be here in a couple of years. The thing that bothers me today (because I have to fixate on something irrational everyday) is that, even though this soul mate business is apparently on its way, past experience dictates that he, too, will only be friends with me.
This whole thing makes me angry.
I wouldn't believe anything if they hadn't predicted certain other things. And outlined my entire character in less than three minutes. Maybe I'm that predictable.
Fuck, I wish school were done this semester. It's making me MENTAL with worry. Or just generally mental.
Currently listening :
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
By Dashboard Confessional
Release date: 20 March, 2001
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