This has been a really weird week. I'm not sure how to feel anymore because it just seems pointless to commit to feeling anything. It's been rather up and down, mostly down the last couple of days, and it's hard to keep up with the range of emotions.
Earlier this week I found out two people I know have cancer. This, on its own, sort of sucks and I'm not sure how to feel about it because I can't do a damn thing about it. One is my brother-in-law's brother, who is always very nice to me; he starts chemo next week. The other is my uncle, my dad's older brother, who is awaiting confirmation for leukemia. I hate that these have come up within days of each other, let alone at all.
Starting next week, I'm also going to have a house guest for an undetermined amount of time, until she gets herself straightened out and on her feet. This freaks me out a bit because I haven't had people around my living space for more than a couple days at a time, and haven't lived with anyone for 8 years. While I'm trying to be supportive and understanding, I can't help but worry about the financial implications of another person to support.
But I always worry about everything, so, really, what's new?
On the upside, because there has to be one, I went for a bike ride after work last night. It was so bright and sunny during the day when I made plans with my friend, but by 9pm it was pretty chilly. Once we got riding it was OK (except for me being completely bad at riding now. I haven't rode in years and I'm a lightweight on hills on my 3-gear Glider), but when we stopped for a drink after about an hour-and-fifteen I started shivering. Since we were on Main, we decided to go to my house for leftover wine and/or rum (4 fingers worth) to warm up. The wine was like vinegar (though I'm not sure if it was supposed to taste like that... maybe it was) and I didn't want to drink just two fingers of rum each, so we had beer. Today my bum is a little sore and I need to figure out how to secure my front light without it falling all over the place; my handlebars are too thin. It will be fun when the weather warms up, I get more muscles in my legs and lungs, and my bum gets calloused up from regular riding.
Tuesday night I went to the Canucks/Wild game with my sister, an unbirthday treat from Jason and Debbie, those sweeties. It was good for the first 15 minutes in the first period, but then became really boring and frustrating, only because the Canucks sometimes forget they're playing, but it got more exciting towards the middle of the third period. That they lost in overtime (with 35 seconds remaining! Guh!) is really incidental; it's the experience that I love. And Christina Aguillera was there, apparently. We just saw a blond person in the press box and assumed it was Pam Anderson.
Tonight while talking to my friend, he suggested I take up a new hobby to take my mind off all the bad news and regular stress stuff. I enquired what sort of hobby that should be. His suggestion: Warhammer. And, seriously, after looking at some of the armies, I kind of want to get an army going. It's the painting that is intriguing me. I haven't even played, but the miniatures have a lot of stuff going on. If I can get my friend to bankroll it (how do I pay tuition *and* buy an entire army?), I could easily become obsessed with it. This frightens me. Just a little.
I'm thinking Vampire Counts.
Currently listening :
Whatever and Ever Amen
By Ben Folds Five
Release date: 22 March, 2005
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