woe is my middle name

Today I am sad and angry. I suspect it's like the Mean Reds, an overly dramatic declaration from someone nowhere near as sophisticated or grande as Holly Golightly; I'm almost sure the right thing to do right now is to re-watch it for the 183rd time. It's difficult to tell if these feelings are directed at certain other people or at myself. Really, I'm tired of thinking about it and would rather punch someone in the head or roll into fetal position and cry until I fall asleep. I've got nothing good to say.

But I'm supposed to not look at everything so negatively, according to my old counsellor and the self-help book she suggested. I'm meant to take a different perspective from my standard and put a positive spin on stuff when I'm feeling bad. So here it goes:

1) I got to see a bunch of friends at the opening I just came from, some of which were a very pleasant surprise, all of which made my heart flicker with happy. Hey, did you want to come to my 33 1/3 birthday party?

2) The hot dog I got just before the opening was especially yummy.

3) Tomorrow I get to see Rachel and have some drinks and a good chat with her, which is always delightful (except when I'm a poop).

4) I only have to work a half day tomorrow.

Admittedly, number 4 is reaching.

I'm not sure why I've been writing so many lists lately. I really hate writing lists. They make me nervous.

My friend is supposed to win a bunch of money tomorrow at the casino. I asked if I could roll around in the $100s he wins and he said I probably could. I'm hoping it's a good day for him. I'm not sure why I would want to roll around in money, but I do. Where, aside from a bed, does one roll around in money? I realise it could be kind of gross, but I would, of course, wear clothes. The idea of it makes me drunk with giddiness. I also secretly hope one or two of the bills will get caught in my pants and he'll be too skiddish to notice and/or remove them and/or ask me to remove them.

The list didn't really help, so I'm going to messenger with my Chi-town friend and go to bed early. Best. Even the thoughts of rolling in cash aren't doing it for me.

Currently listening :
AGAS (Ain't Going Anywhere Soon)
By Kleenex Girl Wonder
Release date: 13 July, 1999