The cute boy at Blenz was very nice to me yesterday. I waited in line with my friend and he called around a woman at the counter to ask what I wanted. Then he made small talk, asking how my day was going, giving me some quality smiling/eye time. I caught him semi-staring at me while I waited for my hot chocolate. He is barely past the embryonic state (likely around 19, if that) and not at all interested in me, but it was my crush for the day. The green of his shirt illuminated him.
I left an unfortunate message on my friend's answering service last evening after feeling the weight of my world crashing around me. This self-sabotage frustrates me because I know I'm setting myself up to be rejected by someone I care about and, yet, want to know where I stand. I haven't heard back, but am pretty sure I've fucked up another friendship with my neuroses. Why can't my stupid brain stop trying to ruin my life for one minute?
"So I'll take the pins out of the doll. I'll take the darts out of the wall. I'm just so nice now, I'm not like before. I don't think of hurting you much anymore."
Rose Melberg is my patron saint of heartbreak.
Currently listening :
Go Sailor EP
By Go Sailor
Release date: 13 August, 1996
No comments:
Post a Comment