Often I go through stages when I feel like I'm a terrible friend. It happens more frequently at certain times of the year, but generally doesn't happen in the summer. This summer is nothing but being a shitty friend.
One consolation for these feelings of inadequacy is that I know certain people like me quite a lot and have for a long time. My oldest friend I've known since we were 3-years-old in Storytime at the library. We can go months without speaking, yet when we do talk it's like no time has passed. This evening I got to talk with my friend who I used to live beside. We haven't spoken for a couple of years (just occasional emails), but it was easy to catch up and there wasn't a second that we didn't have things to say. Conversations like this makes me feel less shitty.
I really rely on easygoing friends because I'm so out of my head sometimes and forget that I shouldn't be a shitty friend. The friends I've had longterm similarly like having low maintenance friends because we all seem to go through stages of availability. I realise this implies I can be low maintenance; even I have (rare) moments of not being crazy.
The remaining part of the summer I'll endeavour to be less shitty. It will be a stretch; it's so out of my character.
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