new love

I may have to rethink my interests. Not one to want another living thing to depend on me, lately I've been feeling jealous about my friend's dog. It's getting more pronounced every time I see her.

My heart swelled last night while watching the results from the Westminster Dog Show online, especially the chihuahuas (smooth coat) judging. I am not a dog person. I'm not an animal person and have never felt like I've missed out on not ever having pets. (We did have a dog until I was about 2 1/2, but I'm not sure that counts because I only have fleeting memories of her and I can't remember her loving me and vice versa. My brain was still soft. We never bonded because my brother claimed her as his and I didn't get much one-on-one time with her. She was a collie named Lady. My parents gave her away to some people that owned a farm and I thought they put her down or she ran away because she was there when we went on a holiday to Oregon and then gone when we returned. My mother is still adamant she lived up the hill [this means up Anarchist Mountain] because our in-town yard was too small for a collie and she got out of the yard too often to be safe for her.) Something about seeing these tiny dogs trotting around... It gets to me.

Not that I am going to get a dog. Like children, they're much better when someone else has to be the primary caregiver and I just get the adoration as the fake auntie. My friend's dog is always excited to see me, but I realise she's excited to see everyone, so it makes me feel less special. I'm plotting my attack with her. I just need some alone time and to read The dog whisperer to get some tips, and then she'll come sit with me when I visit her.

This is my latest baking: lemon cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting. I'm not super delighted with this particular recipe, so will have to tweak it or something. Not lemony enough. I'm debating about baking rugulach tonight after work, but it's going to depend on whether or not I get some butter and how I'm feeling. If I could afford to buy butter in cases, I would. I'm not even kidding. It's the only thing keeping me from baking right now.

I wound up getting Small-batch baking by Debby Maugans Nakos with the remainder of the gift card I had, mainly because I figure that, even if it isn't totally awesome, it will at least give me enough recipes for small-scale baking that I can bake like crazy without having a load of baking sitting around. The cake recipes are for two small one-person cakes, the cookies are for between 4 and 10 cookies, pies are for two people. I tend to get obsessive about things and then move onto something else, but baking is a constant. I would bake daily if I had the time and ingredients. It's one of the few things that makes me calm. It would be unhealthy for me to eat everything I want to bake, so I'm going to see how this works out and save the bigger recipes for something more targeted.

How old do dogs have to be before they can eat baked doggie treats? Maybe I can bribe that puppy with homemade treats... Not cakes, though.