lulls

I'm going through a boring patch again. If I go a few days without talking to/seeing people I start to lose it. It's something I need to work on.

Because my work schedule is so silly it's hard to ask people to meet up. (For the next two weeks I don't work earlier than noon.) Large parts of my day are spent alone and I don't like spending money for anything other than necessities, so I'm limited in what I can actually do during the day before work. When I call people they seem surprised and unsure why I would want to just chat. I suspect people have an inaccurate assumption of how busy my life is. It feels like I have huge gaps in my social calendar.

This is just an irrational patch. I hope. If not, I've scheduled a meeting with my counsellor next week, just in case. I'm probably overdue for a pep talk.

This morning I wanted to drink. Not to get drunk, but just to have a morning drink. It was a toss-up between a kahlua and milk or beer and clamato. The latter won out because it might be a little healthier, and I don't have that much milk. (I do have a bunch of coffee cream and whipping cream left over from Sunday's bake-off. John didn't realise that heavy cream isn't Creamo. When someone doesn't drink coffee, what does one use coffee cream for?) Beer and clamato makes me miss my dad, and I kind of want to go to my parents' house soon, at least when the blossoms come out.

One project I'm hoping to figure out this spring is how to plant/grow a container garden. Not flowers; flowers I can see anywhere. I'd rather have some vegetables or small fruit plants that I can tend outside my door. My parents might visit me in March, so maybe I can enlist their assistance since they're masters of gardening. Maybe some tomatoes, some herbs, maybe some strawberries... Will see what happens with that.

If only I could get obsessive about something like exercise... Then I could stop feeling like a lump.