nosedive

I'm not sure I'm going to make it through this move, neither physically nor emotionally. I still have a week-and-a-half until the move and I'm a nervous wreck. I've been eating just one meal a day the last few days, can't sleep more than a few hours a night, and realise there just isn't enough time for me to do everything I have to do.

The friend I wind up crying to whenever we talk about it tells me to relax, that everything will work out fine. But I can't relax because I feel alone in this whole thing. I know people offer to help out with packing, saying, "If you need any help, let me know." I just can't figure out how to ask for help without putting people out. It feels selfish to ask for help. And the move itself isn't coming together at all. No one likes moving, so why would they want to move my stuff? It's not like I've been the most stellar friend lately.

My latest worry is the part where stuff has to move from place to place. I was told to rent a van to move stuff because the people I know with a truck don't want to make multiple trips back and forth ("One trip is fine."). But I can't guarantee I can get to the rental place before they close (since I'm going from the airport), which means the move probably can't happen. But I don't have any time off until the following week. But I have to be out by the end of the first week. So I've been up since 3:30am trying to figure out how to make this work and I just can't see how it can, other than changing my flight, which will cost me a chunk of money I don't really have, or seeing if the rental place will pick me up at the airport so I can get the van before they close.

I wish I could sleep, just a little bit.