unremarkablility

The most exciting thing about my day? I found out that when the 8 Downtown bus terminates and restarts at Robson, it no longer turns into a 20 Victoria. I like this because it keeps things easy for my brain to understand and recognise. Since I take the 8 Fraser to get home (when I feel like avoiding the Skytrain, which happens occasionally and more lately), I no longer have to be disappointed to see the 8 Downtown. I can be excited because that's my bus.

Obviously it wasn't a stellar day.

I accidentally worked out the lower plaster while I tried to shift it back over to the right side of my mouth. It's been migrating ever leftward and I finally tried to fight back. Unfortunately, the plaster/putty (I don't know what it is, but it leaves white marks on my fingers when I touch it, so I'm pretty sure if I leave it in I'll soon dissolve it completely. Ew) popped out. I decided to look at what lies beneath and it's sort of disgusting. I tried not to look at it directly for fear that it would (like Medusa) turn me to stone or something. At least the graft isn't a freakish white anymore. How am I supposed to makeout with boys on my trip with this kind of damage?

What concerns me more is that I will have to keep the plaster in when I leave town. My appointment on Wednesday can't come fast enough. I'm pretty sure things are getting caught underneath, making for a most unpleasant environment. It makes eating hard; I have to rip food into small pieces and shove it into the left corner of my mouth, which limits what I feel OK with eating, especially in public. I talk with a lisp, which is fine for David Sedaris because his lisp sells audiobooks, but for me... I just sound sort of stupid, a little like Elmer Fudd. And I can't smile because there's an enormous chunk of plaster in the front of my fricking mouth.

And I get to go through this again in 6 months for the other side.

I applied to two jobs that don't start until September. And they're only part-time! (Are all job applications going to be like this?!) Today was my last shift as a Library Assistant I. I have 2 1/2 more LA II shifts and then I no longer have any sort of a job. Benefits: gone. Sick pay: poof. I have to make up for the shift I had to cancel last week when I get back and work one LA III shift in mid-May, and then I've got no work in the foreseeable future. I'm freaking out. I haven't been this listless and not busy for about 6 years, and even then it was only because of jetlag/reverse culture shock/re-establishing life in NA, and lasted 3 months. And I was sort of crazy.

Now I've got the kind of fear that will either make me completely mental, forcing me to lie on the floor hyperventilating as I contemplate my reason for existing, or will make me apply for anything that won't make me feel like a complete sell-out. Gosh, I hope it doesn't come to either.