school + me = bad times

I'm, like, such a slacker or something. Four days into school and I'm already behind. This does not bode well.

It seems like there are a million pages to read this first week and the class that was supposed to be the hardest actually has the easiest readings this week. I'm completely overwhelmed and can't even answer when people ask, "So, how was your first week?" I don't want to complain, because I'm the one who asked to be put in this program, but still... I wish it didn't feel so hard all at once.

During my undergrad I did maybe half of my readings. And still managed to get through and talk my way into a Masters program. Reading for real is hard.

Really, I'm having second doubts, which is apparently normal in "the core." The first four requirements to take any other classes constitute "the core" and people (OK, me) say it in a different voice to give it some forboding tone. I like to say it like the announcer who does the commercials for monster truck rallies. Imagine me also making those little quotation marks with my fingers while saying "the core" in the monster truck voice and you can also imagine how many friends I've made.

If you guessed none you would be close.

No one has yet addressed the fact that anti-social people are often drawn to collections that sometimes let them hide out from other people. I am just not the sort that perkily walks up to people and introduces myself to everyone in my class. I can't remember half the people's names. I can barely recognise the people I saw every day last week.

I've also said stupid things in small groups already. Like, I told one of my classmates he was pussy-whipped for some reason I can't recall now. And told a classmate I had a serious question to ask and it might affect whether or not we could be friends: if she ate meat or not (she didn't and it was awkward). And said something to someone about how everyone says they are in the program because they like books and how that's a stupid answer; the someone actually said that in an introduction a few minutes later. I'm trying not to talk too much because I have that problem with saying dumb things.

This working and going to school thing is going to kick my ass. But it is a necessary evil. If anyone comes into some extra money that they don't really want/need, consider passing it my way. I'm sure scholarships or monetary gifts are tax deductible.

Also: My friend whose wedding I have to bridesmaid at... She called on Thursday. On Wednesday she finalised the plans for the wedding at a heritage hotel that would handle the ceremony and reception and cake and flowers and all the little details, and didn't want to think of it again until the end of the month because she's sick of wedding crap. Wednesday night/Thursday morning the place caught fire and is a write-off. So she has to re-plan a wedding she was sick of planning in the first place in three weeks in wine country during the high season. Good times. I can't help her because she lives where the wedding is (4 hours away) and what could I really do right now anyway other than ply her with liquor while I read for class?

Oh, I also went to see the Evaporators play at the Central Branch of VPL at 1:20pm yesterday. There were lots of babies and little kids rocking out. It was a sort of strange crowd: lots of people older than me with kids, a few old crusty punks, people in their 20s and 30s, and teens (whom the program was actually meant to target). Nardwuar changed no fewer than 6 times in the 45-minute set. He is a hairy, hairy little man.