let's shred

I suspect I'm getting old. In a bad way.

Last night I went to Costco and purchased a paper shredder (among other large-sized things). This was exciting. I was anxious to try it out, but phoned my friend David for his (belated) birthday instead. I did, however, eye the shredder while we spoke. (Sorry, David! So easily I'm distracted.)

I had a shredder that my sister gave me for my last birthday, but I guess I used it too much because it died months ago. I don't know if it found the stuff I was shredding offensive or too dull (or maybe it wanted to destroy itself rather than reside in the basement suite), but it couldn't handle it. And it only cut into strips, so I felt a little nervous that crackheads or people on crystal meth could piece the paper together and steal my identity. That's a problem, apparently. I had been meaning to take a bag of paper to be shredded to work so I could use one of the heavy duty shredders, but just hadn't gotten around to it. Now I don't have to.

Today I started shredding paper. It also does cross-cuts for extra protection. It was awesome good times. This, I suspect, is a problem. It makes me feel either very simple or very old. Getting excited about a shredder...

I was offered $10 for access to the shredder at random times, though. I could turn a profit if I charged to shred people's paper. Hmmm...

All I need is a metal file cabinet and a short bookshelf and I could have the makings of a home office. If only I needed a home office for something. Did I mention I'm also excited about the desk I bought? Oh ya, and I'm a dork.

I think I need to start having dinner parties. I can't seem to fill my dishwasher fast enough on my own and I also wind up buying enormous containers of salad that I couldn't even dream of finishing before it goes bad. I need assistance. As do the Oilers.

C'mon, boys. Score some frickin' goals already.

Vancouverites: The Skatomatics CD release party at the Lamplighter on Saturday. Be there or be paisley, which is code word for loserish. Let's skank.

Currently listening :
Waiting for the Real Thing
By The Pointed Sticks
Release date: 09 May, 2006