just looking

As of this second my profile has been viewed 999 times. I know it's the same person looking at it over and over, but it's still hard to fathom that mine has been viewed that many times and some bands who request me and every other person in this social Avon-type pyramid have had fewer people look at them. I joined less than a year ago (I think), so that means 90 people a month look at me, or 3 a day, roughly. I guess this isn't as impressive, or surprising, as I originally thought. Hmm...

I assume, of course, that my picture initially draws people in. Apparently you can tell a lot about a person from a picture, but I've learned that people think I'm a certain way from mine and are then disappointed when they meet me for real. I'm OK with this. I know it takes a few interactions for me to start being me-like. Not everyone wants to put in the effort. And I suppose I do the same thing, make judgements based on pictures. It's like everything else, where looks matter to some extent.

That said, I'm going to try to stop assuming things about people. Letting things unfold as they happen and taking opportunities when they pop up seems a better idea instead of wondering about motives and what the other person is thinking. How many times have I missed out on meeting a new person or doing a fun new activity because of looks or worrying what other people would think?

Last night I went out with my friend for gelato and cheeseburgers. He called to chit chat during a work break (one of those work-at-home types) and I convinced him that he'd rather go for gelato than talk on the phone. He brought his flatmate's dog with and we sat outside the gelato shop and ate gelato while freezing rain fell at 11:30pm. People who went by looked at us oddly. It was pretty cold, we were literally shivering, and we were eating gelato. It was a lot of fun, especially since I haven't seen him for a while and he's one of my oldest friends. The snowstorm conditions just added to it.

I realise I don't do stuff like this as much anymore, the last-minute hanging out and doing irrational things. Everything has been so structured and all my time alloted down to the half-hour. I'm not so open to new things and changes to the schedule of my life. And maybe that's why I don't think my life is especially fun.

So today I smiled at people during the extensive Skytrain breakdown and didn't get angry or curse under my breath, because the sun was shiny and the sidewalks were slushy and I could jump in them and make an impressive splash if I really wanted to. Think of the puddles I'll encounter on my way home!

And I'm going to see Isobel Campbell tonight!

Currently reading :
Pumpkin, a Super Food for All 12 Months of the Year
By DeeDee Stovel
Release date: 01 August, 2005