Tuesday, March 7, 2006

bridesmaidzilla?

Last night I went to the 5th or 6th Operation Bridesmaid meeting for my friend's fall wedding. I've lost count. I'm still terrified about it, even moreso now, because two of the other bridesmaids decided to go all-out last night: they bought their dresses. Keep in mind that the wedding is at the end of September.

Originally we were just going to meet to discuss a couple of things the bride-to-be asked me to address. Then, suddenly, one of the girls suggested we go to the hellacious mall to look at shoes because, apparently, only one store in all of Greater Vancouver has silver shoes and they were having a sale. And it's imperative we have silver shoes. So we went. The two found shoes, which was lovely because now all our shoes are shiny. (Mine I bought at Value Village for $5.99 and are from the mid-60s, so are the shiny silver that all shoes of that era seem to be.) They each bought shoes that sparkle. Like princesses.

That should have been the end of it.

Suddenly the honorary bridesmaid (a gay man) saw a store and said that the missing bridesmaid (there are 4 of us officially; 5 with the honorary one) almost bought a dress there and we should look to see if there was anything we liked. This was not just any dress shop; this was a dreamy princess dress shop. The dresses in the window stood on their own, they had so much crinoline and boning in them. Like, they would be too fancy for a catillion kind of fancy. And almost all the dresses were like that. The one bridesmaid found a couple of dresses quickly and one she really liked. Actually it was closer to love. It was lovely and on sale for $89.99. But we had all agreed that we would all have cocktail length dresses (I believe cocktail length falls slightly below the knee, short enough that a drunk girl wouldn't trip over the hem when drunk). I mentioned this. Suddenly the gloves were off.

After listening to, "But I love this dress the way it is," for 10 minutes, I (the spoilsport) relented. She bought the dress. The other bridesmaid, feeling adventurous and maybe just a little jealous, tried on a couple of dresses that really weren't very nice. The one she liked actually just looked like she wrapped fabric from a bolt around her. Thankfully I managed to talk her out of that one, but the ladies in the store wanted her to get something and found a dress that looked pretty cute on her... if she were getting married. It was white and bride-y, and was also floor-length. Despite being regular price (something like $250, for a bridesmaid dress!), she bought it. Then she asked, "Do you think I'll upstage [the bride] in this dress? Because I don't want to do that." The other two assured her that, since the dress would be in pink, it would be fine. Me, I'm not so sure. It's pretty close to being a wedding gown. I think there could be a fist fight when the bride sees these dresses.

After we left the store and walked through the sprawl of the mall (did I mention I despise malls?), we passed a store that the bride had bought a dress at the year previous for a wedding. "Oh ya," says the honorary bridesmaid. "Now that I think about it, that was the store where the other bridesmaid almost bought the dress." I had to stop myself from wrapping my fingers around his neck.

So now I'm left to look for either a dress or fabric to make a dress, both of which I'm totally OK with. It's just that now I feel this pressure to pick something ultra fancy because the other two have floor-length gowns. I wish I could find my retro patterns. At this point, nothing short of "Roman Holiday" Audrey Hepburn will do.

Did I mention we're wearing sparkly tiaras?

Currently listening :
Puzzle
By Tahiti 80
Release date: 06 June, 2000

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