Today at work my co-workers and I started talking about Helix because I needed some music and the best CD was the Flaming Lips, but the others didn't like it so they streamed a new age station that wound up being a downer (a shock, I know), so then we started talking about Helix. I'm not sure why Helix was the band we talked about, but it started us searching for an '80s hair band station to stream.
For the rest of the afternoon we listened to a bunch of old favourites from our high school years (three of the four of us are around the same age). It was sort of weird to squeal with delight over "Talk Dirty To Me," "Shake Me," "Follow Your Heart" and "Crazy Train." Yet we did. It seemed like every song made one of us exclaim, "I love this song!"
Eventually the station wasn't enough. We started searching for videos on You Tube after I described the video for "Round and Round" by RATT because it made me think about crawling around on the receiving conveyor while the fan blew my hair. So we found that and various others, and were both pleased and disturbed that all of the ones we searched for were easily found.
Seriously, that Triumph song is awesome. And they have Stryper!
I said Paul Stanley was hot at one time while we watched "Heaven's On Fire." We watched an AC/DC video that I didn't know and discussed which songs the old and new singers sang. I shared the little trivia that CeCe DeVille was a hairstylist. It was a bonding kind of day.
The fourth co-worker is quite a bit younger than us and lamented how lucky we were to grow up with the music we did; she had N'Sync, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. No hair band is as embarrassing as N'Sync, even with Justin "bring the sexy back" Timberlake.
Also today:
1) I put some nearly expired yogurt in the freezer and had yummy frozen yogurt after dinner. It was so much better frozen than in the thin consistency it decided to be in the fridge.
2) Sears and the Bay are having ridiculous sales right now. I am extremely close to buying a new winter coat (need one for next year, so might as well get it at 50 - 70% off) and bought ladies intimates for prices close to thievery. Also got a cute polka dot dress on sale, even though it wasn't marked as such.
3) Instead of reading for class tomorrow, I helped my friend re-write his statement of intent for grad school (back east), which he seems to have decided to apply to at some point today after earlier deciding not to and missing the deadline at UBC. I also have never written a statement of intent for grad school, so this is even more hilarious. I suspect I should stay up and read now, but am not particularly interested in management at this moment.
I also kind of love strawberry soy milk today.
Currently listening :
Elastica
By Elastica
Release date: 14 March, 1995
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
brrr
For the first time since moving in, I'm cold. I can't tell if it's a physiological thing or if my house is chilly. My heat is almost at 1 and yet I feel like I need to bake some cornbread to warm myself next to the oven. Mmm, cornbread.
The doors might need some weatherproofing. I don't even know what weatherproofing looks like. I don't even know if it's called weatherproofing or if I just made that up. Guh.
The doors might need some weatherproofing. I don't even know what weatherproofing looks like. I don't even know if it's called weatherproofing or if I just made that up. Guh.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
after the storm
This morning I went to the pharmacy to collect a few necessities. The walk up the street was instantly remarkable, as the sun splashed the sidewalk a block ahead on my path. At the corner, steps away from a ray of sunlight on the pavement, a man walked past me and said a good morning to me. It cheered me as the toe of my boot edged the ray and the momentum pushed me fully into the light. It made me squint.
There is still a touch of snow on the ground, but mainly the big story is the ice. It's -8'C (hardly worth wearing a hat) and the sidewalks and streets are crunchy and glossy with it. The sound is pleasing when my shiny boots skuttle along the surface. Even the slips and slides make me giggle and I don't try to hide the uncertainty of my feet on ice.
I must remember days like this more readily.
With the return to school, I find myself dreading the remaining 13 weeks of education. My classes look fine, I know a number of great people in them, yet the weirdness in the pit of my stomach reminds me that something is not right. I can't figure out what it is, but it worries me. I won't drop out of school; that isn't even on the radar. At the same time, I need some sort of distraction to make me forget about that feeling. I'm fairly certain this feeling is not from school, but from the personal life (or lack of).
So, basically, if you can entice me out of my house with something I can't turn down (possibly something like, oh I don't know, beer or boys) I would welcome the attempts. I think I might be borderline losing-it.
Off to campus to photocopy reserve readings before class this afternoon. Yay.
Currently listening :
Reconstruction Site
By The Weakerthans
Release date: 26 August, 2003
There is still a touch of snow on the ground, but mainly the big story is the ice. It's -8'C (hardly worth wearing a hat) and the sidewalks and streets are crunchy and glossy with it. The sound is pleasing when my shiny boots skuttle along the surface. Even the slips and slides make me giggle and I don't try to hide the uncertainty of my feet on ice.
I must remember days like this more readily.
With the return to school, I find myself dreading the remaining 13 weeks of education. My classes look fine, I know a number of great people in them, yet the weirdness in the pit of my stomach reminds me that something is not right. I can't figure out what it is, but it worries me. I won't drop out of school; that isn't even on the radar. At the same time, I need some sort of distraction to make me forget about that feeling. I'm fairly certain this feeling is not from school, but from the personal life (or lack of).
So, basically, if you can entice me out of my house with something I can't turn down (possibly something like, oh I don't know, beer or boys) I would welcome the attempts. I think I might be borderline losing-it.
Off to campus to photocopy reserve readings before class this afternoon. Yay.
Currently listening :
Reconstruction Site
By The Weakerthans
Release date: 26 August, 2003
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
milquetoast
Not much seems to be happening with me, so I haven't felt like writing much lately. I fear today will be a lot of blogarrhea (thank you, Urban Dictionary).
I've been trying to figure out if I'm unmotivated or depressed, and if it's the same thing. Apparently, the most depressing day of the year is January 23rd, so I'm trying hard to convince myself that everything will come together after the 23rd. If not, I have a box of minty chocolate covered Oreos in my cupboard that will at least provide some temporary happy from the chocolate, and mint is meant to calm you, right?
School is blah and I can't convince myself to do assignments, even though I have the time to do them. I also realise I hate talking about school, yet it's the first question everyone asks me. I think I need to get a shirt that says, "Don't ask me about school." I know people are genuinely interested, but I'm not interested enough to give a good answer.
This evening I met my dear friend for tea at a nearby coffee shop. It was so lovely to hang out with him; we don't see each other as often as we used to, what with me and school/work and him with work/special projects/girlfriend. He has to move because his flatmate has decided to move in with his girlfriend, leaving him to find a decent place by March. But it will be the first time ever in his 30ish years that he'll live alone, so that's pretty exciting. Living alone is a treat. On the plus side, no one will ever again ask him if his "roommate" is his boyfriend.
My old flatmate keeps trying to get me to visit Halifax. Since Sloan has moved away from there, there seems little point. I can get behind a trip to Toronto, if only I had the time...
Sometimes I worry that I'm becoming a really mean person. I intentionally, indirectly do small things to one specific person in the hopes that she will freak out at me. Granted, had she not taken to lying to me and generally doing calculated, evil things to me I wouldn't have to go all passive-aggressive on her, but still... Being mean is supposed to be a lot of work. It's unfortunate how easy it is for me to undermine this evil doer's evil doings. I suppose the 33 1/3% of evil contained within my body is showing some muscle. I hope it can be contained once the full brunt of it is released. I don't not like many people, but when I do I really don't.
This week's goal is to clean out my fridge of vegetables without any of them going bad. That includes the squash I cooked that sits in a container, waiting to spring into action as a side dish or as an addition to a main course recipe. I've been searching for recipes that call for ham; I've got a small chunk yet to use and I'm getting sick of it. Once it's gone I'm off the meat for a while. How is pork the other white meat, yet ham (from the same animal, I'll remind you) is that disgusting pink colour? This is what is currently driving me away from meat products.
In one of my classes, the instructor regularly says, "Let's dim the lights." I immediately, in a low, soft voice, say, "And chill the ham." No one else gets it, so I quietly chuckle to myself, which, in retrospect, explains why people shuffle their chairs away from me during class or pretend they don't know me.
"The Hipster Handbook" came through work today and I was reminded that I'm a poseur. Lately I've been feeling very milquetoast, but I don't mind. Decision-making is highly overrated sometimes. And I can't even figure out how to use up walnuts.
Off to bed. Good luck this week, friends.
Currently listening :
A Groovy Place
By The Mike Flowers Pops
Release date: 30 June, 1998
I've been trying to figure out if I'm unmotivated or depressed, and if it's the same thing. Apparently, the most depressing day of the year is January 23rd, so I'm trying hard to convince myself that everything will come together after the 23rd. If not, I have a box of minty chocolate covered Oreos in my cupboard that will at least provide some temporary happy from the chocolate, and mint is meant to calm you, right?
School is blah and I can't convince myself to do assignments, even though I have the time to do them. I also realise I hate talking about school, yet it's the first question everyone asks me. I think I need to get a shirt that says, "Don't ask me about school." I know people are genuinely interested, but I'm not interested enough to give a good answer.
This evening I met my dear friend for tea at a nearby coffee shop. It was so lovely to hang out with him; we don't see each other as often as we used to, what with me and school/work and him with work/special projects/girlfriend. He has to move because his flatmate has decided to move in with his girlfriend, leaving him to find a decent place by March. But it will be the first time ever in his 30ish years that he'll live alone, so that's pretty exciting. Living alone is a treat. On the plus side, no one will ever again ask him if his "roommate" is his boyfriend.
My old flatmate keeps trying to get me to visit Halifax. Since Sloan has moved away from there, there seems little point. I can get behind a trip to Toronto, if only I had the time...
Sometimes I worry that I'm becoming a really mean person. I intentionally, indirectly do small things to one specific person in the hopes that she will freak out at me. Granted, had she not taken to lying to me and generally doing calculated, evil things to me I wouldn't have to go all passive-aggressive on her, but still... Being mean is supposed to be a lot of work. It's unfortunate how easy it is for me to undermine this evil doer's evil doings. I suppose the 33 1/3% of evil contained within my body is showing some muscle. I hope it can be contained once the full brunt of it is released. I don't not like many people, but when I do I really don't.
This week's goal is to clean out my fridge of vegetables without any of them going bad. That includes the squash I cooked that sits in a container, waiting to spring into action as a side dish or as an addition to a main course recipe. I've been searching for recipes that call for ham; I've got a small chunk yet to use and I'm getting sick of it. Once it's gone I'm off the meat for a while. How is pork the other white meat, yet ham (from the same animal, I'll remind you) is that disgusting pink colour? This is what is currently driving me away from meat products.
In one of my classes, the instructor regularly says, "Let's dim the lights." I immediately, in a low, soft voice, say, "And chill the ham." No one else gets it, so I quietly chuckle to myself, which, in retrospect, explains why people shuffle their chairs away from me during class or pretend they don't know me.
"The Hipster Handbook" came through work today and I was reminded that I'm a poseur. Lately I've been feeling very milquetoast, but I don't mind. Decision-making is highly overrated sometimes. And I can't even figure out how to use up walnuts.
Off to bed. Good luck this week, friends.
Currently listening :
A Groovy Place
By The Mike Flowers Pops
Release date: 30 June, 1998
Saturday, January 6, 2007
whip it (windy)
I'm starting to feel like Debbie Downer.
One of the ladies at work told me her neice is going home from the hospital today. On New Years she took Ecstacy and went into a coma with kidney failure. They think that someone slipped extra into her drink through the evening, on top of the stuff she took. She came out of the coma just before the time the doctors said she would be a vegetable if she didn't. She is still slow, her kidneys are still not functioning fully and they aren't sure what the full extent of the damage is. She's 21.
Now I remember why I didn't get into drugs.
Last evening I ate so much Thai food I think my stomach almost exploded. It was yummy, though, and the people at the restaurant are always so nice (Pad Thai on Broadway, just off Main). I later went to meet up with a few friends at Six Acres and had just one beer because I wanted to get home at a reasonable hour so I could have a full night's sleep. Work at 8am feels less shitty when you aren't nodding off at the computer.
The freakish snowfall yesterday and, later, wind storm are signs that Vancouver is becoming Hell. That our prized BC Place is now a deflated mess is further proof. Work was chaotic yesterday because my co-workers and I became obssessed with seeing the deflated roof from the upper floors, but it was hard to get a good view. Everyone was sort of going crazy at work, patrons as well, and we were shocked to find that it wasn't a full moon. Something weird is in the air.
Today is the tour of the Pantages Theatre, the oldest Pantages theatre in North America with the original features. I'm pretty excited about it. Will try to take pictures if they have electricity, which I'm not convinced they do. Still.... it will be interesting to see it before they either tear it to shit or tidy it up. You may recall I tried to go last year and went to the wrong address (west instead of east). This time I will not repeat that error.
The January sumo tournament starts tomorrow. It's been ages since I checked the ranking and there are a number of surprises. I'm going to try to keep up with it again because seeing the website again made those obssessive feelings reappear. I love sumo.
Currently reading :
The Garneau Block
By Todd Babiak
Release date: 15 August, 2006
One of the ladies at work told me her neice is going home from the hospital today. On New Years she took Ecstacy and went into a coma with kidney failure. They think that someone slipped extra into her drink through the evening, on top of the stuff she took. She came out of the coma just before the time the doctors said she would be a vegetable if she didn't. She is still slow, her kidneys are still not functioning fully and they aren't sure what the full extent of the damage is. She's 21.
Now I remember why I didn't get into drugs.
Last evening I ate so much Thai food I think my stomach almost exploded. It was yummy, though, and the people at the restaurant are always so nice (Pad Thai on Broadway, just off Main). I later went to meet up with a few friends at Six Acres and had just one beer because I wanted to get home at a reasonable hour so I could have a full night's sleep. Work at 8am feels less shitty when you aren't nodding off at the computer.
The freakish snowfall yesterday and, later, wind storm are signs that Vancouver is becoming Hell. That our prized BC Place is now a deflated mess is further proof. Work was chaotic yesterday because my co-workers and I became obssessed with seeing the deflated roof from the upper floors, but it was hard to get a good view. Everyone was sort of going crazy at work, patrons as well, and we were shocked to find that it wasn't a full moon. Something weird is in the air.
Today is the tour of the Pantages Theatre, the oldest Pantages theatre in North America with the original features. I'm pretty excited about it. Will try to take pictures if they have electricity, which I'm not convinced they do. Still.... it will be interesting to see it before they either tear it to shit or tidy it up. You may recall I tried to go last year and went to the wrong address (west instead of east). This time I will not repeat that error.
The January sumo tournament starts tomorrow. It's been ages since I checked the ranking and there are a number of surprises. I'm going to try to keep up with it again because seeing the website again made those obssessive feelings reappear. I love sumo.
Currently reading :
The Garneau Block
By Todd Babiak
Release date: 15 August, 2006
Thursday, January 4, 2007
i'm a thinker (dude thinks like a lady)
This morning I discovered I have a mind almost exactly between male and female. My friend Scott sent a link to a test that distinguishes if you think more like a man or a woman. I fall at the lower part of the woman side, dangerously close to thinking like a man. My high empathy score is what kept me within my sex.
Essentially, I think like a man for everything except I am extremely observant and I am empathetic to other people's feelings. This is terrible news, as this just means I know when I'm getting fucked over by people, yet can understand why they're doing it to me. Strangely, I was well over the average for both sexes in a number of categories, the higher scores meaning I was more correct.
The thing that I was most surprised by was that I got a near-perfect mark for the eye test. On the screen they show eyes of people with four words to choose from to describe what the person is feeling. That I did so well just makes me think that when I make judgements about what people are feeling, despite their denials, I am actually almost always correct if I look at their eyes.
Granted, they didn't test intuition or ESP, so, really, the results are a bit inaccurate.
You'd think that thinking like a man would help me to understand them. Yet...
Last night my friend said he's bringing a present back for me from his trip. I can't even imagine what it could be. Unless he was teasing (and I told him not to tease about presents), he said it was around the size of a drum (I assume he meant a snare). Maybe it's a bike helmet...
I need to get out on my bike and whittle down my calves so my new rain boots will fit over them. As it is, I'm just getting them halfway up and they're all bunchy at the ankle. Guh. They are outstandingly cute, though.
OK, I want to have a wee nap before I have to head to work. It's a late shift today; I'm trying to get as much cash as I can before I drop back down to peasant hours.
Currently reading :
The Garneau Block
By Todd Babiak
Release date: 15 August, 2006
Essentially, I think like a man for everything except I am extremely observant and I am empathetic to other people's feelings. This is terrible news, as this just means I know when I'm getting fucked over by people, yet can understand why they're doing it to me. Strangely, I was well over the average for both sexes in a number of categories, the higher scores meaning I was more correct.
The thing that I was most surprised by was that I got a near-perfect mark for the eye test. On the screen they show eyes of people with four words to choose from to describe what the person is feeling. That I did so well just makes me think that when I make judgements about what people are feeling, despite their denials, I am actually almost always correct if I look at their eyes.
Granted, they didn't test intuition or ESP, so, really, the results are a bit inaccurate.
You'd think that thinking like a man would help me to understand them. Yet...
Last night my friend said he's bringing a present back for me from his trip. I can't even imagine what it could be. Unless he was teasing (and I told him not to tease about presents), he said it was around the size of a drum (I assume he meant a snare). Maybe it's a bike helmet...
I need to get out on my bike and whittle down my calves so my new rain boots will fit over them. As it is, I'm just getting them halfway up and they're all bunchy at the ankle. Guh. They are outstandingly cute, though.
OK, I want to have a wee nap before I have to head to work. It's a late shift today; I'm trying to get as much cash as I can before I drop back down to peasant hours.
Currently reading :
The Garneau Block
By Todd Babiak
Release date: 15 August, 2006
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
just friendsedness
Despite adoring my girl friends, I realise that I seem to be collecting more and more boy friends as of late. This I find weird because boys aren't interested in me enough to date me, yet want to be my friend and spend loads of time with me. I don't get it. But, then again, I've never understood the male mind.
Lately I've been talking to a friend from out of town a fair bit. I'm not sure why he's talking to me at midnight instead of his girlfriend, but I am not the one who needs to censor my time and I'm unwilling to play den mother on this. If I could figure out that "thing" that makes me interesting to a point and just expand it a little... Or I could do nothing but be me and assume that, at some point, one of these boys will figure it out on his own.
I was watching a movie on the weekend, likely "Some Kind Of Wonderful," and there was a line about it all being over when you give up hope that you're going to find that one person. Why had I never realised how deep and poetic John Hughes films are? Had I taken to heart more firmly the lessons from teen movies from the '80s... Imagine how different my life could be.
My friend suggested I try to figure out how to get invited to sausage parties or to start becoming friends with people who work in male-dominated fields. I have no idea how one does that. He was no help, either. Any ideas?
I suspect, as Stephin Merritt suggests, I am unboyfriendable. This doesn't upset me as much as it once did.
Next week I'm starting my second semester of school and am a little freaked out. I've been counting credits, trying to figure out how I can finish this degree in the suggested time without cutting back on work and maybe getting another baby librarian job to boot. I'll just go full-force as much as I can and see what happens. I realised that last semester only got stupid after I started messing around with my personal life, but that situation has since ended so it might be easier this term. We'll see.
This Saturday I'm going on a tour of the Pantages Theatre! So exciting!
Currently listening :
Planets Conspire
By Meligrove Band
Release date: 17 August, 2006
Lately I've been talking to a friend from out of town a fair bit. I'm not sure why he's talking to me at midnight instead of his girlfriend, but I am not the one who needs to censor my time and I'm unwilling to play den mother on this. If I could figure out that "thing" that makes me interesting to a point and just expand it a little... Or I could do nothing but be me and assume that, at some point, one of these boys will figure it out on his own.
I was watching a movie on the weekend, likely "Some Kind Of Wonderful," and there was a line about it all being over when you give up hope that you're going to find that one person. Why had I never realised how deep and poetic John Hughes films are? Had I taken to heart more firmly the lessons from teen movies from the '80s... Imagine how different my life could be.
My friend suggested I try to figure out how to get invited to sausage parties or to start becoming friends with people who work in male-dominated fields. I have no idea how one does that. He was no help, either. Any ideas?
I suspect, as Stephin Merritt suggests, I am unboyfriendable. This doesn't upset me as much as it once did.
Next week I'm starting my second semester of school and am a little freaked out. I've been counting credits, trying to figure out how I can finish this degree in the suggested time without cutting back on work and maybe getting another baby librarian job to boot. I'll just go full-force as much as I can and see what happens. I realised that last semester only got stupid after I started messing around with my personal life, but that situation has since ended so it might be easier this term. We'll see.
This Saturday I'm going on a tour of the Pantages Theatre! So exciting!
Currently listening :
Planets Conspire
By Meligrove Band
Release date: 17 August, 2006
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