I was so close to losing my shit on the train today. Like, seriously.
The train is generally fullish, but there's space when I ride because it's a bit early. Today a few people ahead of me decided to get on and stand in the doorway, even though there was room further into the train car. And it wasn't like it was a surprise that people wanted to get on because people kept saying, "Excuse me, excuse me, can you let me on?" So I managed to squeeze by the clump and stood beside a guy with an enormous backpack on his back. And he kept swinging it without noticing that he was hitting me and dangerously close to the heads of the people sitting. Then, as I held onto the pole, a guy decided he was too tired to stand and leaned on the pole where my hand was. Fine. I moved my hand up farther. Then he leaned his head back, right onto my hand. So I kindly asked him if he could not lean on the pole because I had nowhere to put my hand. People glared at me, like I did something wrong. My ride to work takes about seven minutes. Seven minutes of hell.
And I'm not sure why these things annoyed me extra today, but they did. When I got off the train after work it was the same story. The guy in front of me had to say "excuse me" four times before people would move out of the way so we could get off. And then a couple of them crowded the doorway so they wouldn't lose their choice spots. I "accidentally" bumped into them like a pinball... uh... ball. I realise I'm adding to the problem, but I was feeling extra intolerant today.
Maybe it's time to take another trip. Any suggestions? One thing to consider: I don't like hot places/sun very much. Or at all. It's my naturally pastey white skin that lacks melanin, making me unable to sit in the sun for more than a few minutes. Which is why I like the fall. And the spring.
Oh, the plum blossoms are coming out. It's just a matter of time until the cherry blossoms are out, and then it will be time to ohanami (flower viewing party), consisting of concealed alcohol and random food items consumed while sitting under cherry blossoms. Can't wait.
Currently reading :
Drugs Are Nice : A Post-Punk Memoir
By Lisa Crystal Carver
Release date: 12 October, 2005
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
defrosting
In my mail today there was an invitation to an art opening. The subject matter in the image: crows. I'm not even joking. I also had a drink called Murder of Crows last night and it was the colour of what it would look like after they ripped my entrails out of my body.
My trip wasn't restful, but it was nice. The highlight was a visit with my grandparents, both in their 90s. Everytime I leave I bawl because I know it could be the last time I see them. They've been married for over 70 years and really rely on each other. I honestly don't think they could live without each other. My grandfather is grumpy, always looking at the things they can't do anymore, while my grandmother is positive and points out what they can do. And they have amazing stories. They are sweet and I'm always grateful when I see them.
I love visiting Edmonton. I still have some fantastic friends there and, obviously, my grandparents. It just feels different there, good different, and I'm always glad when I go. It's just easier. But I can't imagine moving back. My friends bought a house built in 1947 with all the original features (curved door frames, hardwood floors, inset laminate curved up at the corners, etc.) and seven bedrooms. Seven! Lofts downtown on Jasper start at $90,000. And, even though I'm completely jealous, I don't know that being able to afford a house there is enough for me. Even my old prof suggested that there's so much work in the museum field that I could get in with just my BSc (they usually require a Masters). And it's all tempting. It is. I just... can't.
But, then again, I could.
I won't, though. Just when I feel like I'm getting my stuff all in order, with school and the prospective new apartment, the temptation of skipping town pops up again. I'm probably getting too old for running away when I don't want to deal with something or when I get nervous about failure. Will just have to make more trips to Edmonton. Besides, I can't visit Dulcie and Nels too often because they just get me stinking drunk and shove homemade perogies into me until I feel like the explodey guy from The Meaning of Life.
This week: controller.controller/You Say Party! We Say Die!/Meligrove Band. Exciting! Still have a Belle and Sebastian ticket to sell for the 24th.
Currently watching :
Fever Pitch (Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 13 September, 2005
My trip wasn't restful, but it was nice. The highlight was a visit with my grandparents, both in their 90s. Everytime I leave I bawl because I know it could be the last time I see them. They've been married for over 70 years and really rely on each other. I honestly don't think they could live without each other. My grandfather is grumpy, always looking at the things they can't do anymore, while my grandmother is positive and points out what they can do. And they have amazing stories. They are sweet and I'm always grateful when I see them.
I love visiting Edmonton. I still have some fantastic friends there and, obviously, my grandparents. It just feels different there, good different, and I'm always glad when I go. It's just easier. But I can't imagine moving back. My friends bought a house built in 1947 with all the original features (curved door frames, hardwood floors, inset laminate curved up at the corners, etc.) and seven bedrooms. Seven! Lofts downtown on Jasper start at $90,000. And, even though I'm completely jealous, I don't know that being able to afford a house there is enough for me. Even my old prof suggested that there's so much work in the museum field that I could get in with just my BSc (they usually require a Masters). And it's all tempting. It is. I just... can't.
But, then again, I could.
I won't, though. Just when I feel like I'm getting my stuff all in order, with school and the prospective new apartment, the temptation of skipping town pops up again. I'm probably getting too old for running away when I don't want to deal with something or when I get nervous about failure. Will just have to make more trips to Edmonton. Besides, I can't visit Dulcie and Nels too often because they just get me stinking drunk and shove homemade perogies into me until I feel like the explodey guy from The Meaning of Life.
This week: controller.controller/You Say Party! We Say Die!/Meligrove Band. Exciting! Still have a Belle and Sebastian ticket to sell for the 24th.
Currently watching :
Fever Pitch (Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 13 September, 2005
Thursday, February 23, 2006
a sad day
So it's official. The Conservatives have a minority government.
For those that voted for the Conservatives: do you not remember how much Mulroney fucked up this country?! Harper is even worse than Mulroney because he's already Bush's bitch. And, as a woman, I am bracing for the legislature he's going to try to push through that will essentially take away women's right to choose, right to equal pay, social programs targeted to women of lower socioeconomic standing... It was all stuff he talked about doing. And I'm pretty sure that within the year he'll be sending troops to Iraq. Public opinion? What's that?
At least I'll feel represented in my riding. She's got my back.
Currently listening :
Live It Out
By Metric
Release date: 04 October, 2005
For those that voted for the Conservatives: do you not remember how much Mulroney fucked up this country?! Harper is even worse than Mulroney because he's already Bush's bitch. And, as a woman, I am bracing for the legislature he's going to try to push through that will essentially take away women's right to choose, right to equal pay, social programs targeted to women of lower socioeconomic standing... It was all stuff he talked about doing. And I'm pretty sure that within the year he'll be sending troops to Iraq. Public opinion? What's that?
At least I'll feel represented in my riding. She's got my back.
Currently listening :
Live It Out
By Metric
Release date: 04 October, 2005
work is wack
Yesterday at work one of my co-workers suddenly stopped what she was doing, looked frantically around her desk, and said, "I think I just put my purse in the fridge." I guffawed at her. "No, I'm serious," said she with tears brimming in her eyes. So I watched as she went to the fridge and pulled out her purse and some milk. She's 27.
The head of our floor has a tendency of yelling from her office when she wants someone. So, say she's supposed to have a meeting at 4. At 3:59 she will yell something like, "Is anyone coming to the meeting?" and start naming names. If they don't answer within 3 seconds she'll repeatedly yell their name until that person answers or someone confirms that person's whereabouts. She also plays a lot of solitaire throughout the day on her computer.
The guy on the other side of the divider from me knows everything about Broadway productions. Just yesterday another co-worker/friend asked me what that musical was, the one with the horse and something else in the title song, and I said I had no idea what she was talking about. In an accusatory tone, she said, "Well, Paul would know." Of course he would. He's given her bootlegs of Liza and most of his Ethel Merman collection.
Someone has a Golden Girls/Bea Arthur fixation and it isn't me. I pointed out to my friend a T-shirt for sale online that has the GGs with the slogan "Stay Golden." She is anxious for its arrival and subsequent wearings to work. She also bought Season 4 the day it was released.
My supervisor is on leave for the next month.
Yes, despite all this excitement, I'm taking a few days off to get my bearings and freeze my ass off. In Alberta. My friend is taking time off to go to London and Paris a day after I get back, another just got back from Hawaii, and I'm going to Alberta. Sigh.
Currently watching :
Pecker
Release date: 23 February, 1999
The head of our floor has a tendency of yelling from her office when she wants someone. So, say she's supposed to have a meeting at 4. At 3:59 she will yell something like, "Is anyone coming to the meeting?" and start naming names. If they don't answer within 3 seconds she'll repeatedly yell their name until that person answers or someone confirms that person's whereabouts. She also plays a lot of solitaire throughout the day on her computer.
The guy on the other side of the divider from me knows everything about Broadway productions. Just yesterday another co-worker/friend asked me what that musical was, the one with the horse and something else in the title song, and I said I had no idea what she was talking about. In an accusatory tone, she said, "Well, Paul would know." Of course he would. He's given her bootlegs of Liza and most of his Ethel Merman collection.
Someone has a Golden Girls/Bea Arthur fixation and it isn't me. I pointed out to my friend a T-shirt for sale online that has the GGs with the slogan "Stay Golden." She is anxious for its arrival and subsequent wearings to work. She also bought Season 4 the day it was released.
My supervisor is on leave for the next month.
Yes, despite all this excitement, I'm taking a few days off to get my bearings and freeze my ass off. In Alberta. My friend is taking time off to go to London and Paris a day after I get back, another just got back from Hawaii, and I'm going to Alberta. Sigh.
Currently watching :
Pecker
Release date: 23 February, 1999
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
terry underwear
I set my alarm for an early start today. I'm up to make sure everything is in place for me to get Belle & Sebastian tickets this morning. They go on sale at 10am and I want to leave no chance for error. I'm convinced they'll sell out in minutes and I'll be disappointed if I miss them. Again.
Sure, the Commodore is the last place I'd want to see them. As a room, it's lovely. As a music venue, it's pretty close to shit. Tall people often stand at the front of the stage, blocking the view for those 10 feet behind them, and they wear baseball hats that seem to cover even more of the view when they look up and the bill acts as a halo barrier. And why would you have to get that drunk to see anything, nevermind something you pay such ridiculous service charges on? Now that I think about it, maybe it's men at the Commodore that I have the problem with... No, no, it's the venue.
The floor doesn't bounce like it used to. So nostalgic for the old floor. And I even miss the gaudy water/light pillars that lined the sides of the floor. There's something not right about that place.
But this show would be worth all the shit-talk. Aside from loving B&S (and I do, I really do; all fey and twee and all that good stuff), there is a strong possibility that Todd Fancey will be one of the openers, and I really want to see him. His music reminds me of summer in the '70s. And, you know, he's kinda cute.
Currently listening :
If You're Feeling Sinister
By Belle & Sebastian
Release date: 23 June, 1999
UPDATE: success!!!
Sure, the Commodore is the last place I'd want to see them. As a room, it's lovely. As a music venue, it's pretty close to shit. Tall people often stand at the front of the stage, blocking the view for those 10 feet behind them, and they wear baseball hats that seem to cover even more of the view when they look up and the bill acts as a halo barrier. And why would you have to get that drunk to see anything, nevermind something you pay such ridiculous service charges on? Now that I think about it, maybe it's men at the Commodore that I have the problem with... No, no, it's the venue.
The floor doesn't bounce like it used to. So nostalgic for the old floor. And I even miss the gaudy water/light pillars that lined the sides of the floor. There's something not right about that place.
But this show would be worth all the shit-talk. Aside from loving B&S (and I do, I really do; all fey and twee and all that good stuff), there is a strong possibility that Todd Fancey will be one of the openers, and I really want to see him. His music reminds me of summer in the '70s. And, you know, he's kinda cute.
Currently listening :
If You're Feeling Sinister
By Belle & Sebastian
Release date: 23 June, 1999
UPDATE: success!!!
Monday, February 20, 2006
burn
There was a fire alarm at work this afternoon. For the longest time there were alarms every week, all but one being false alarms. (The one that wasn't was a small paper fire in the parkade, set by some punk kids who were trying to steal bikes.) There hasn't been one for quite a while. Today we had to evacuate the whole building, which rarely happens.
Each floor has a systematic evacuation routine. On my floor, the patrons were reluctant to leave, even though we're allowed to physically remove them if necessary. The alarm was annoyingly loud, but they just sat there, reading their books like they were deaf. My co-worker had to yell at a guy five times to leave the building, and even then he was still browsing. I also yelled at him, just because I'm mean, and he sauntered (sauntered!) to the exit.
If it were a real fire they would be so dead.
As it was, we lost one of our employees. She went... somewhere... and we didn't find her until we were allowed back in. So, had it been a real fire, the head of our department would be trapped inside looking for her, dealing with smoke inhalation, or dead. Thanks, new girl who didn't want to leave the building, even though the alarm was going off.
Fire alarms kill 20 minutes of work time.
Currently reading :
Sand in My Bra and Other Misadventures: Funny Women Write from the Road (Travelers' Tales)
By Jennifer L. Leo
Release date: March, 2003
Each floor has a systematic evacuation routine. On my floor, the patrons were reluctant to leave, even though we're allowed to physically remove them if necessary. The alarm was annoyingly loud, but they just sat there, reading their books like they were deaf. My co-worker had to yell at a guy five times to leave the building, and even then he was still browsing. I also yelled at him, just because I'm mean, and he sauntered (sauntered!) to the exit.
If it were a real fire they would be so dead.
As it was, we lost one of our employees. She went... somewhere... and we didn't find her until we were allowed back in. So, had it been a real fire, the head of our department would be trapped inside looking for her, dealing with smoke inhalation, or dead. Thanks, new girl who didn't want to leave the building, even though the alarm was going off.
Fire alarms kill 20 minutes of work time.
Currently reading :
Sand in My Bra and Other Misadventures: Funny Women Write from the Road (Travelers' Tales)
By Jennifer L. Leo
Release date: March, 2003
written by
Lately I've been reading a bunch of books that I feel like I could have written. Not that the books are poorly written; just that I'm feeling especially arrogant about my writing skills this week.
When I left Japan, one of the things I told people I was going to do was write a book. This was so I at least sounded like I had a plan, instead of just saying I was going to live at my parents' house until I got my shit together. And it sounds sort of impressive: I'm going to write a book. I have important things to say; so important that I'm going to have them forever bound between lightweight cardboard or laminated card stock.
I have the makings of a modest book on a gaijin (foreigner or white devil) living in rural Japan. The plan was to incorporate my diary entries with the monthly updates I sent out for the three years I was there. The complete disparity between what I was doing and what I was feeling is the part that really interested me. It sounded like it was fun, and it was, but I was going nuts by the time I left. Because it's mostly written, having done all the work in the midst of it all, all I have to do is fill in a few of the details.
If you check the bestsellers list you'll note that my name isn't there. This is because I'm a slacker.
My second book, also non-fiction, will be about my mother's and/or grandparents' lives prior to, during and after WWII. This is much more difficult to write because I don't know all the facts personally. And it means a whole lot of research into wartime history and I'm a bit terrified of war. My mother still doesn't like talking about it and my grandparents are aged, time clouding their memories. The seemingly impossible challenge keeps me from starting.
My third book is to be about my father's family's move from the Old Country to Canada. They were a colourful bunch. And writing this one would mean I'd have to write another book about the town I grew up in, since the area became what it is because of them.
My problem is that, depending on the day, I can't begin to fathom who would buy a book about me by me, or about anything I have to say. Sure, sometimes I'm wildly amusing. But other times... I'm just not. A whole book is obnoxious. Unless it's good.
All I really want is to walk into a library, look my name up in the catalogue, and find a book that I've written in the stacks, circulating. Like Paul Varjak walking into the New York Public Library to find "Nine Lives." But most libraries don't have card catalogues anymore so it's just not the same.
My original plan was to write smutty romance novels, two or three a year, to supplement my regular income. I'm very good at writing smut. The girls at work and I discuss books we could write, complete with working titles and what the cover art would look like. The formula basically writes the book for us. Now we just have to fill in the details.
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/
Incidentally, I can apparently buy and listen to records in the future, as today is February 20th and the album I'm listening to isn't going to be released until tomorrow. But I have the actual, liner-notes-and-everything, CD purchased last week. Hmm...
Currently listening :
Everything Wrong is Imaginary
By Lilys
Release date: 21 February, 2006
When I left Japan, one of the things I told people I was going to do was write a book. This was so I at least sounded like I had a plan, instead of just saying I was going to live at my parents' house until I got my shit together. And it sounds sort of impressive: I'm going to write a book. I have important things to say; so important that I'm going to have them forever bound between lightweight cardboard or laminated card stock.
I have the makings of a modest book on a gaijin (foreigner or white devil) living in rural Japan. The plan was to incorporate my diary entries with the monthly updates I sent out for the three years I was there. The complete disparity between what I was doing and what I was feeling is the part that really interested me. It sounded like it was fun, and it was, but I was going nuts by the time I left. Because it's mostly written, having done all the work in the midst of it all, all I have to do is fill in a few of the details.
If you check the bestsellers list you'll note that my name isn't there. This is because I'm a slacker.
My second book, also non-fiction, will be about my mother's and/or grandparents' lives prior to, during and after WWII. This is much more difficult to write because I don't know all the facts personally. And it means a whole lot of research into wartime history and I'm a bit terrified of war. My mother still doesn't like talking about it and my grandparents are aged, time clouding their memories. The seemingly impossible challenge keeps me from starting.
My third book is to be about my father's family's move from the Old Country to Canada. They were a colourful bunch. And writing this one would mean I'd have to write another book about the town I grew up in, since the area became what it is because of them.
My problem is that, depending on the day, I can't begin to fathom who would buy a book about me by me, or about anything I have to say. Sure, sometimes I'm wildly amusing. But other times... I'm just not. A whole book is obnoxious. Unless it's good.
All I really want is to walk into a library, look my name up in the catalogue, and find a book that I've written in the stacks, circulating. Like Paul Varjak walking into the New York Public Library to find "Nine Lives." But most libraries don't have card catalogues anymore so it's just not the same.
My original plan was to write smutty romance novels, two or three a year, to supplement my regular income. I'm very good at writing smut. The girls at work and I discuss books we could write, complete with working titles and what the cover art would look like. The formula basically writes the book for us. Now we just have to fill in the details.
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/
Incidentally, I can apparently buy and listen to records in the future, as today is February 20th and the album I'm listening to isn't going to be released until tomorrow. But I have the actual, liner-notes-and-everything, CD purchased last week. Hmm...
Currently listening :
Everything Wrong is Imaginary
By Lilys
Release date: 21 February, 2006
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