downer

The last few weeks have been more difficult than I've let on. This month has sucked and the suck doesn't seem to be lessening.

My grandfather's death was expected, yes, but it has still left me in a state. I can't go into it without falling into a significant depression. Suffice it to say things will never be the same again.

Family issues remain. I am jealous of people who have families that function, that have siblings that actually answer the phone and want to see them.

I also discovered my rent will be going up 4% in October and possibly more since my landlord measured the kitchen to replace the counters and cupboards. I could be paying another $70 per month and another 4% next April. I need to figure out a longterm solution because this is stupid.

Today was really the topper of the month. After talking just yesterday about the possibility of being a front runner for a position at work, today came word that funding was cut and there would be a series of bumps that will likely eliminate the position I'd hoped for. Before I left work yesterday I spoke with someone and expressed my worry that something would happen to make full-time work further out of my grasp; she said I shouldn't worry. Today... she actually called me to her office to express her shock that less than 24 hours after our conversation I had a reason to worry. Obviously anything could happen, but right now I feel like I've been kicked enough.

Uncle. Seriously.

Karma better be super awesome pretty quick. It would be really nice to feel like something is going right in my life.