bang head against wall

Sometimes I wish I was stupider.

Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty stupid sometimes. Slow on the uptake with certain jokes. Giving other people more credit than they deserve. Forgetting somewhat important things. That sort of stupid is normal. That's not the stupid I mean. Maybe I wish I were less observant or more oblivious.

I have an annoying habit of reading people. And, more often than not, I'm correct in my reads. Sometimes this is helpful, like when avoiding serial killers and schmoozers. But sometimes it means I know when people don't like me. I can get the sense of it almost immediately, even if the person outwardly appears to like me. It is especially troublesome when I like the other person. It's times like this that I wish I was stupider.

I remember reading an article on Rose Melberg when she released Go Sailor on a punk label and she talked about people writing terrible things about her because the music didn't fit the label. And she exclaimed in a fake sob, "But they don't even know me!" Sometimes I feel like the music that doesn't fit the label. Some people get the music despite the label; some people aren't willing to listen.

Maybe I should just stop thinking in general. Oblivious/painfully slow people seem to be really content; I could do that. Possibly. With practice. And a blunt force trauma to the head. Which wouldn't be that great because I am not a fan of physical pain. Please don't try to hit me.

I'm going to stop thinking about it. I can't make anyone like me, even though they're completely wrong not to. Heh.

Unrelateds:
Yesterday, while looking for yellow noodles for hiyashi chuka, I discovered that the Korean grocery store downtown carries my favourite yakisoba brand. I got all natsukashii and daydreamed of having a Japanese bbq party, especially now that someone donated a bbq to me. Just need to find a slab of metal to cook on.

I am one step away from a professional experience at the CBC Library. I've organised a supervisor, who approved my draft proposal with no changes or additions. Today I'm going to send in my proposal to the school and hope for the best. I could have security clearance by July if all goes well.

This weekend I'm going to try to stick closer to home. 011 is ON on Friday night, though I don't want to jinx it by getting overly excited, even though I am. The Main Street Festival is going on between 23rd and 28th avenues, and I hear there's going to be some lemonade and a cake walk (thank you, Seamrippers). Can't recall what the festival on Main Street was a couple weeks ago, but I'm not complaining. Street festivals are dope.

Currently reading :
Let's Cook Japanese Food!: Everyday Recipes for Home Cooking
By Amy Kaneko
Release date: 08 March, 2007